It's Been a While

So...now that Christmas is over, I have a little breathing room to provide an update. It was so nice to be able to spend time with my siblings, their spouses and the nieces and nephews. I love my family so much. With each passing event, I grow more thankful for who God chose to be my family. We'll be visiting Kong's family this coming weekend. Can't wait to see everyone.

Christmas was a very stressful for us this year. I was put in a very tough position with the photographer I was using for the girls pictures. I was extremely disappointed at the quality of the photos, the results of my Christmas cards and the professionalism of the photographer. I did not plan to write a Christmas letter this year as I was anticipating an amazing custom Christmas card but things did not turn out as planned. Though this photographer has a great eye, and takes wonderfully artistic photos, she seems to lack knowledge when it comes to the technical aspect of photography, how to run a business and work with customers. For the final products that she produces, amateur prices is more appropriate. There's too many issues to post so I'll spare you the details.

With the recent issues with this photographer, I decided to learn more about photography. I don't plan on ever taking pictures as a professional but I want to be able to take nice pictures of my girls so that I can do fun things with the photos. Here are a few of my attempts to understand the different settings on my own digital camera, lighting, etc...I tried to take pictures during the day time with natural light, and at night time. I wanted to see what type of images I could capture. It was fun and interesting.

Here's the same shot with a different focus.













Our Christmas tree.


















Taylor's first Christmas ornament.

Highs and Lows

Well...after waiting for a year to order my Williams-Sonoma Calphalon cookware, someone stole my stuff off of the porch. I can't believe someone would do that. Over $700. Gone. Just like that. The UPS people delivered the boxes yesterday and since Kong and I had an event and was in a rush, I forgot to tell Kong the boxes were outside. Sure enough, this morning, the boxes were gone. I checked with the mail man who confirmed that he saw the boxes yesterday but that he did not take them in error thinking they were boxes going out. I was frantic.

I called William-Sonoma and they are sending me a replacement set. I was so worried they would tell me there is nothing they can do about it. Thank goodness for William-Sonoma's outstanding customer service. It pays when you do business with people whose price is a true reflection of their products and services. This is not always the case as I recently learned.

On a high note or maybe not so high note, Kong and I attended an event yesterday for the Minnesota Lodging Association and someone did something really creepy to me. I stepped out of the ballroom to make a call to the sitter because we were running late and this guy attending the event walked out right after me. As he walked by me, he stared for a really long time in a really weird way. Then when I finished the call, he came back, stared and said, "You have really beautiful hair." I wasn't sure what to do with that so I said "Thanks" and tried not to make eye contact as he approached me. Well, either he was hitting on me in a really weird way or he is gay and truly does appreciate hair. Who knows.

But today, something else happened that made me truly proud of the hard work I've been putting into working out and eating right. On my way home from having a meeting with a client, I parked in front of the house instead of the garage and this red pick up truck with a bunch of guys drove by me and repeatedly honked their horn and cat called. I think it was directed at me seeing as I was the only person around. Though I probably should have been offended, I wasn't. It's nice to know people still notice me. I guess it helps that I was dressed up both times, and made modest attempts to look presentable.

It was a nice way to end my afternoon considering that I had $700 worth of goods stolen from me. Anyway, more to come tomorrow. I'm going to try to catch up on all that's happened since I haven't been updating my blog.

I'm Finally Going To Do It!

So I finally redeemed all of my Amex points for $900 of gift cards from Williams Sonoma. Once I get the gift cards, I'll going to by a calphalon 12 piece set. I'm also thinking about getting the 12' wok. With the 12 piece set, I'll get free gifts which include the 6.5quart Soup Pot and 10qt Caldero. The 12-piece set includes 10" and 12" fry pans, a 2 1/2-qt. covered saucepan, a 3-qt. covered sauté pan, a 3 1/2-qt. covered saucepan, a 5-qt. covered Dutch oven and an 8-qt. covered stockpot.

If anyone has any input on what sizes are used most an which ones are not, let me know. I may try to buy piece by piece instead of going with a set. I've included pics for the 12 piece, wok and 6.5qt soup pot.

One More Down

I'm down to 163. That's 19 Pounds so far. I have never been so in control of my eating and activities. I feel so empowered. Four pounds left until I break 160. I told Kong that when I get down to 155, which sadly enough was my wedding weight (and sadder yet that I haven't been able to get down to 155 in over 10 years), I'm going to bust out my wedding dress and wear it. I don't know why I'm saving it so I might as well wear it, right? I may even get it altered and dyed. That will be my treat when I hit 140. I'm going to be a hot mama. Yeah!!!!

Ayden and Taylor started Tae Kwon Do this week. Taylor will be restarting Ballet soon and Ayden back in Gymnastics. Tae Kwon Do will be 3x a week, ballet and gymnastics 1x. I'm already feeling over whelmed. We read with Taylor for 30 minutes a night, do homework with both girls and read to Ayden every night as well. I have become involved in a lot of activities and organization so balancing all of this and the kids activities has proved quite the challenge. I had to drag Taylor to a board meeting and a site council training this week. My poor child. I'm so lucky she is such a good girl. She does her homework, reads and waits patiently for me. I'm representing JJ Hill at the Saint Paul Public School National Summit this Saturday from 8:30am to Noon. Too much going on. I haven't even sent out Taylor's Thank You cards from her birthday or get out the notes for my last Hmong New Year Committee meeting. I need to figure out how to scale back. I'm not at the point of pulling my hair out yet but if I keep up this pace, I will.

164!

I'm down a pound to 164. I'm going to poop my pants when I break 160. It's getting easier and easier to manage my food intake and exercise. I've been under the weather this past week so I haven't felt like exercising but I keep forcing myself to go to the gym. I always feel great after I work out but it's getting myself out that's tough. I need to add more variety into my diet without increasing my dairy or grain in take. I have not bought new undies, bras or jeans yet but I plan to this weekend.

Pakou and Nate were just in town and we all had a really great time hanging out. While Pakou was working on Saturday, Kong, Nate, the girls and I went to Allianze and played in the game room. Taylor and Uncle Nate played tennis Wii for an hour and a half. They got a great work out. Taylor even had a toe injury from the awesome serves she was sending Uncle Nate's way. Kong and I played Ping Pong and it was so fun. I haven't played in years but picked it back up pretty quickly. I was sore the next day from the intense competition. To top off the weekend, we played the game Sorry!, a gift from one of Taylor's friends for her birthday. Great fun!!!!

Better Late Then Never

Halloween was really fun. Uncle Philip, Uncle Paul, Auntie Phoua and Gabe came over on Halloween night. Taylor was dressed as a Pop star, and of course Ayden was a Princess and Gabe was...Superman!!!!

Gabe was so cute. He wouldn't let his dad help him carry his very big Thomas the Train candy container. She was so independent and walked the entire way. Paul periodically tried to empty his candy container so that it would not be so heavy. Each time Paul tried, Gabe would shout at Paul. It was the cutest thing. Gabe was so proud of himself and walked with such confidence. So cute.

My big girl Taylor opted to no longer be a Princess. She decided on her own that she wanted to be a pop/rock star. She thought up her costume and put it together almost completely by herself. She even won the costume contest at school. As for my Ayden, always the princess, she wore a pink puffy dress. I'm just glad neither of the girls asked for make up or all of the accessories that really make an outfit believable.

Here are some additional pictures from October.

These are pictures from Rosie/Nicky's funeral. Taylor was super sad. Ayden...not so much. She couldn't get over Rosie's smell.













These are pictures from Paul's birthday. The theme was super hero so Ayden was Wonder Woman, Taylor was Zatana and Gabe was Superman. I especially like the way Ayden's underwear shows underneath her costume.




















Tais Dlaab did take the cake off of the plastic stand so when Paul moved the cake to the end of the tabel, it slid off and fell on the bench. Prior to this point, Gabe was standing on the bench singing Happy Birthday happily to himself and wa anxiously awaiting the climatic ending of lighting the candles and blowing them out. When the cake went toppling over, you could tell it took everything in Gabe's little body to hold back his tears. Then when he could no longer hold it in, he cried. It was sad...but funny too!

Ayden was at a friend's birthday party and came back a cat. Great fun for her as she loves cats. She was sad to wash her face.

Here are pictures from Taylor's birthday. Don't I look good : )

It's Been a Week...

Since I've written anything. There's just so much going on that it's hard to keep up. This is going to be a long one.

Last week Saturday I attended a Montessori event called "Silent Journey". I was so thankful that I went. It gave me great insight into my children's lives away from home. It also confirmed for me that Montessori is so wonderful and that every child should attend school in this setting. Montessori is for every child, not just children like mine.

All of the parents were lead through one Children's House (pre-k and Kindergarten) classroom, Elementary 1 (1st - 3rd) and Elementary 2 (4th - 6th). On our first walk through, we were instructed to just observe the rooms without touching or asking questions. Just to absorb the materials. I found this incredibly difficult. Not talk or touch????? All I could do was think, "Oh my Goodness, this feeling I have inside of me must be what Taylor experiences on a day to day basis." By the way, some of the parents didn't follow direction and touched the materials. Is it odd that that bothered me? Parents who don't follow directions...naughty, naughty. Anyway, on the second walk through, the teachers showed us the Montessori materials and how they work. I was blown away. All of the feelings and emotions I felt took me back to my childhood. Had I only been taught in a Montessori environment, who knows where I would be today. Everything about Montessori is amazing, especially math. It was amazing to see the math beads used to solve for least common multiple. I just can't emphasis how amazing a Montessori classroom is.

At the end of the event, one of the teachers explained that people often do not see creativity and organization as related. He said that what people fail to understand is that creativity comes when people have order for their thoughts, ideas and feelings which in return allows creativity to spawn, develop and make it self real. With out order, these thoughts, ideas and feelings are chaotic and will not produce themselves in a way that can be shared with other people. Dan, the teacher, said it so much more graciously than I put it but his words allowed me to connect the dots.

Montessori materials are all very neat, orderly, and laid out in a very common sense way. Though each classroom from K-6th is nearly the same, all of the thoughts build upon each other until you are able to take the binomial block and use it to solve math equations. Did I say AMAZING yet????? It provides order, and structure at the same time allowing the child the ability to make their own decisions and freedom with the materials. That's how we live our lives at home too. Our children understand that there is a place for everything and that we all take responsibility for keeping this order yet we have the freedom to be creative and feel how we choose. Having the same structure at home and at school has provided great harmony in our lives. People who visit us are often amazed at how responsible and neat Taylor and Ayden are but their behavior is truly a result of Montessori. The order in our home allows them security and an understanding of limits. This may sound counter intuitive but this structure allows the girls to explore in ways other children may not be able to.

This is a big part of why the girls ask me things that I think are so odd. While Taylor was sitting on the toilet this morning, she asked me what a portfolio is. Kong and I explained it to her and she said, "okay", like what we had told her was completely normal. Ayden and I went around last night asking for UNICEF donations. She was such a pro. When we finished, she asked me about poor children and if she was considered poor. We had a very nice discussion. Montessori children are encouraged to ask questions, challenge the norm, and explore all thoughts and feelings. I'm so lucky I stumbled upon Montessori. My girls are amazing people because of it. Sometimes I completely forget that they are only 8 and 4.

So while I was learning, Kong went Pheasant hunting in Iowa. They shot a total of 20 birds. We made Pheasant with bamboo and it was delicious. The natural game is such a great addition to our diet. He's my provider : )

I made it to 165. Woo whooo!!!!!!!!! That's 17 pounds baby! Is it odd that I'm afraid to buy clothes? I have this fear in the back of my mind that I may get big again and the new clothes I buy are wasted. I've been wearing a pair of jeans I bought from Express before I had Taylor. I can't believe I was this big before I even had kids. My goodness what happened to me in my mid twenties? Anyway, the jeans actually look good on me but they are a little torn where my legs use to rub. You know, the area that rubs so much you could start a small brush fire? It's probably time for me to get a new pair of jeans.

I also went to the dentist this past week. I am bummed to report that I have a cavity. This is my first one in over 10 years. I had the first cavity of my life at 22 and now, 12 years later, I have my second. I'm scheduled to get it fixed on November 12.

Lastly, I want to make a correction on a prior post, now that my cholesterol is down to 170, that is actually a 60 point drop, not 30 as I originally thought. This is amazing. I've been using amazing a lot, huh? We'll, it is amazing. I am loved, I am blessed and I'm loving life...including all of the hectic craziness that happens on a day to day basis. Thank you Lord!

Happy to Report

That I am down today another pound to 166. I've lost a total of 16 pounds. Yeah!!! I think my weight loss has slowed down. I'm losing about 3 pounds a month. Do you think that is too slow? If I keep trending at this rate, hopefully I'll lose an additional 18 pounds by the summer for a total weight loss of 34 pounds.

I promised myself that I would buy new bras and panties once I hit 165. Kong keeps telling me not to wait. He laughs at my granny undies that now sag big time in the booty. I'm going to wait for that 1 pound before rewarding myself. I might even splurge and buy myself a pair of jeans. We'll see.

Ayden had to go to the Office today. She poked a child in the back with her pencil and drew on a child's shirt. She also bit a child's finger on the play ground yesterday. I know what she is doing is wrong but why are these kids just sitting there and letting her do this?

I just happened enter the school as she was being walked down to the office. She's been doing so wonderful so I'm not sure what's going on. The teachers are telling me they think she is bored. Her afternoon teacher said to me that he thinks she's way above the materials and activities that they are working on. That's hard for me to believe because she can't even read yet. You can't be bored you've mastered what you are being taught, right? Mr. Matt says that her comprehension and communication is beyond children of her age. Not sure what to think here.

Heart of the Heart Land

I was in Fargo yesterday seeing clients. Since my Monday was full, I decided to drive in on Sunday night. There were not a lot of hotel choices so I stayed at this boutique hotel with only 17 rooms. It was very nice. If you ever make it to Fargo, stay at the Hotel Donaldson (HoDo). Very clean lines, modern art work. I later learn from my colleague that HoDo is the nicest hotel in North Dakota. Who knew.

Sorry for going off on a tangent. Anyway, when I arrived at 10:30pm, I knew that I was in the heart of the Midwest. There were no city amenities, i.e. parking lots with attendants or ramps that you could enter after dark, there were no restaurants open down town because it was a Sunday night, and right across the street was a women's clinic which people were holding signs outside protesting abortion. These people apparently guard the door of this clinic 24/7. I had a good view all night as my hotel room window directly faced the clinic. The protesters were quiet and calm so they were not a bother.

The ride up was also very eventful. I was scanning the radio stations constantly over my 4 hour drive and boy was it fun. I was telling Kong that I was in 80's heaven. There were a ton of heavy metal stations along with 80's power hits. I heard song's I hadn't heard in decades on normal stations like Love Bites by Def Leopard, Nothing Else Matters by Metallica, Glory of Love by Peter Cetera, Toy Solider by Martika and the list goes on and on. The memories associated with each song, how I felt during the time period the song was popular...good times : )

It was just interesting. I guess even though I grew up in a small/mid size town, I forget how different life is. It's almost like a time warp back to the 90's. Not that it's bad, it's just different. Life is so much more innocent. The people are so much less intense, in a good way. I'm still taking it in and mulling over what all of these emotion means to me.

On a different note, another month of no cravings before you know who visits and I'm down to 166 1/2. Not sure how this can be as I went over 20 points last week and I ate fast food twice but I'll take what I can get. I'm still working out 4x a week. I got the results of my lab test for my insurance back and the results were phenomenal. All of the indicators of kidneys disease came back as being within range of normal kidney function. This is a miracle!!!!!!! Also, my cholesterol went down from 201 to 170. Whooa Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!! I guess being diligent about eating healthy, cutting out red meats, no yokes, no fried foods ad increase vegetables really is making a difference. It's been a lot of work but so worth it.

So Blessed

Today, I was reminded as to how blessed I am. God has lead me to so many places; physically, spiritually and emotionally. I am surrounded by love, support and goodness. He continues to lead me even during times when I don't think I'm in need of him. I am truly blessed.

Nice Evening

Kong and I attended an event Asian Media put together. We were asked to attend as mentors for speed mentoring. After dinner, mentors paired in twos moved from table to table speaking about their professions, their education and to provide words of wisdom to a group of 100 young teenagers.

This was Kong's first event of this type. He really enjoyed himself and learned a great deal about himself during the process. It was nice to see a Hmong man at this event as often times, Hmong men don't participate. I was really proud of him. I enjoyed myself as well. It was especially fun for me because each time Kong came by me, he would smile and make googly eyes at me. I would turn to the kids and say, "This guy has been trying to hit on me all night." Everyone got a good laugh out of it. Either that or they were creeped out and uncomfortable.

Anyway, I was asked to be one of the final speakers at the event. I was asked to do so on the spot. I was surprised that I was able to pull it off. Kong even commented on how well I did and as the loving husband that he is, he told me I was a natural. It was nice to finally do something "volunteer" together. I think we really share a bond when we do these types of things together. We may also both be on the Leadership Council for Asian and Pacific Minnesotans. Is that a conflict of interest? I guess when there aren't a lot of Hmong people in professional level Corporate jobs, you take what you can get, right?

That's all for now. I worked out tonight for about an hour - 43 minutes elliptical, 15 min Calisthenics and stretches. Feel good even though I ate too much today.

Surprised

I was pleasantly surprised when I got on the scale on Monday and I had only gained two pounds from my food blow up over the weekend. I went from 167 to 169. Still under 170. Wooo Whoooo! I'm slowly learning that one weekend of food blow up does not mean the end. It just means I need to be more disciplined the following week. That's a tough mind set to get into if your whole life set backs mean complete failure. I guess that's my flaw of; all or nothing, perfect or not. Never any greys...

I'm debating on if I should wait to buy new clothes or get a few pieces now. Everything I was wearing before is really loose on me now. My suits/business atire is what probably looks the worst on me. They sort of just hang off of my body and it looks like I'm wearing someone else's clothes. I'm at that weird stage where size 12 is loose but size 10 is just a little snug. I'm not complaining because I was pushing a 16 just six months ago. I'm thinking my reward for new clothes is when I can fit into size 10 comfortably. Who would have thought 15 year ago that I would be happy to wear a size 10.

Yesterday, I had Shoua take pictures of Taylor for her 8th b-day pictures. Shoua did a fabulous job. I would reccomend her to anyone. Check out Shoua's blog for pictures of the girls. You can click on the top right corner of Shoua's blog to get to her photography website. She does great work! http://auohs.blogs.com/shouayangphotography/.

Revelation and Blow Ups in One Weekend

This past week has been very interesting for me. It's odd because I've only lost 15 pounds but I've noticed that people treat me differently already. I'm not sure if it's because I put a little more effort into myself before leaving the house, or if it's maybe my subconscious change in attitude but I catch people looking at me and sending me positive body gestures. People smile more at me, they pay more attention and they linger longer when they look at me. I'm not sure how to feel about this. Though it makes me feel nice, I feel guilty about enjoying this positive interaction. Not sure what to make of it.

I'm through with the strictest part of my cleanse. What a difference it has made in my skin. I'm starting to eat one serving of grains per day. I learned this week that when I ate less, I was maintaining my weight but once I started eating up my points for the entire day/week, I lost weight again. I guess even though I always knew that eating less does not necessarily mean weight loss, it's always nice to get confirmation for encouragement.

Lastly, I had a huge food blow up this weekend. It was Taylor's birthday so ate too much Saturday and Sunday. I was at a negative 18 points by the end of tonight. Probably more since I'm sure I didn't remember everything I ate over the weekend. On a positive note, Taylor had a very nice birthday. Saturday started with her and me going for our 2mile run/walk. Upon our return, her dad made a very special breakfast (whole wheat raspberry pancakes with turkey bacon), we had a very pleasant day together, and ended with a fun birthday party at Shoreview.

On a side note, no one from the V side came and everyone from the Y side did. I know that we didn't provide a great deal of notice so I don't hold it against anyone. I just felt bad as Taylor didn't invite all of her friends because she wanted to make room for her family. All in all, it was still a good turn out (22 kids and 12 adults) and Taylor had a great time. She's such a good child. I am blessed.

Down 15!!!!

After gaining a total of 3 pound over the weekend, I've lost those three plus one more. I'm down to 167 which is 15 pounds from where I started. Making healthy food choices is getting easier and easier. I worked out Monday and Wednesday. I'm hoping to go tonight, Saturday and Sunday.

I have not had any grain or dairy products for 4 days. I've been eating a lot of greens like baby spinach, pea pods, green beans and asparagus. Chicken breast with asparagus is my favorite but it think the asparagus is making my urine smell. Oh well...the trade off is definitely worth it since no one goes to the bathroom with me. I also haven't had gas in weeks. This is amazing since I've been known my whole life as the gassy one in the family.

Second Day of Clense

I'm on my second day of my cleanse. I have not eaten any grains so I've had no bread, pasta or rice these past two days. I've had to be really concious of filling my rice need so I've been leaning a great deal on veggies and fruit. I've also been indulging my self with jello and sherbet. No ice cream since I can't have dairy. Only two days and I'm not missing rice yet even though Kong and the girls are still eating it. I feel good but by the end of the day, I usually have a slight headache.

Down...now back up

I went down to 168 on Friday (14 pounds lost!!!!). This weekend we traveled and ate at family's homes all weekend long so I gained back two pounds. I'm back up to 170.

I don't know if what I've done is good or bad but now that we've changed our diet, whenever we travel, we have to prepare our own travel foods. Plus, at least two people get stomach aches or feel sick if we eat 'normal' people food. We pack water, we pop our own pop corn and we carry fresh fruit. No more yummy gas station food. After a day of eating food not from our normal diet on Saturday, Taylor ended up feeling sick and threw up. We thought she was getting sick but I guess she just needed to dispel the food. She was perfectly fine all day today.

On Saturday morning, Taylor and I ran/walked 2 miles. I was really proud of her. I only exercised three times this week. I ran for 2 miles this morning but slower than I had hoped. I need to get this back to exercising at least 4x a week.

I finally sent my food log to my holistic practitioner (the one I saw in DC when I was really ill) the other day. It turns out that I have a high amount of candida growth which is what is causing all of my yeast and skin problems. She is sending me remedies and putting me on a 8 week cleanse diet. The first week I am cleansing, I can't have any dairy or grain products. Starting the second week, I can only have 1 serving of grain a day. I'm not sure how I'm going to do this. I going to try my best as I know at the end of this, I'll feel so much better. Wish me luck!

Good Bye Rosie...Nicky

Our beta fish of 3 years died last night. Rosie/Nicky has been ill and losing his color for the past few months. We've been having conversations with the girls for a while now about how Rosie/Nicky is getting old and that he may pass soon. Before I get to the burial, I have to explain Rosie/Nicky's name. When we bought the beta, we didn't have the heart to tell Taylor that it was a boy so she named it Rosie. As Taylor got older, she learned that the Beta was really a boy so she reluctantly changed his name to Nick...which turned to Nicky. Ayden on the other hand, still insists on calling Nicky, Rosie.

Anyway, Taylor decided that she wanted to bury Rosie/Nicky instead of flushing him. So after buying the girls each of their own beta fish (girl betas of course, no mistakes this time), Kong dug a small hole and we buried Rosie. Taylor said a prayer and then started crying. Ayden didn't cry but she did comfort Taylor like the good sister she normally is NOT!

Tonight we went out to eat at Old Country Buffet and I made really good food choices. I also ate moderately. I'm really proud of myself. I only went 2 points over my daily allotment and I still have 30 extra points for tomorrow and Sunday. I only exercised twice this week. I hope to do some tomorrow and on Sunday. I lost the other 1/2 pound this morning and am down to a solid 169. I'm 13 points down : )

Wooho!!!!

I broke 170. This morning I was 169 1/2. Yeah!!!!! Eating for life...one day at a time : )

Much Better Days

Yesterday and today were much better days. On Tuesday I was down another pound to 170. Yeah...12 pounds lost so far. I was afraid to weigh myself today as I did not want to be disappointed if I gained back the pound. I was relieved that Aunt Flo finally visited. I was concerned that something might be wrong. I think it's my change in diet and exercise that has caused my cycle to be thrown off.

So last weekend Kong and I went back to Hmong church. It's interesting that in the six years we've been gone, nothing has changed. Though it was very clear that neither Kong or I were moved by the spirit during church, it did very much feel like we were coming home. It was so nice to be around familiar faces, and to be greeted by friendly voices. More and more I feel very much that God lead us to Maryland and back for a specific reason. We were always searching to find our place spiritually. He lead us away to find him and lead us back to make a difference. We realize now that he has a much bigger plan for us. After church, Kong and I had the same feeling. We just felt so at peace with what we know lies ahead of us. Please pray for us for strength and courage to move forward with God's plan.

Keep thinking this is the week...

I keep thinking I'm going to break 170 but I don't so I'm not going to say that this week.

I tried to eat more for breakfast but I realize that when I try to eat things Western foods, I end up using more points than if I eat Hmong food. Not sure why because when I eat Hmong food, I get to eat more, am fuller after I eat and I use less points. Maybe because the Hmong food I am cooking is generally soups, greens, bamboo or mushrooms.

Today, I had two pieces of wheat toast with organic fruit spread, had coffee with 1/2 cup of skim milk and made an herb (cilantro) omelet with just the egg white. This meal was 8 points. I was reading up on immune deficiency diseases and IgA over lunch so I missed lunch. As I was reading, I found some really great homeopathy's though a IgA support website. By the time I did eat, around 3:00pm, I had a really bad headache. That might have been due to the fact that I only ate an apple and an organic fruit bar.

When I finally ate dinner, my first source of meat for the day, I was tired and famished. Even though I had less than an ounce of meat, it increased my energy level. I really want to go vegetarian but I think I need to read up on it before I try. I felt horrible today not having protein. Also, since learning that I should cut out meats and dairy from my diet due to my disease, I feel there is a sense of urgency to make that change now. Anyway, not feeling real well tonight. A little low on energy and feeling a little down. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Just for fun, here are some new pictures. I rarely have pictures taken of me but I feel like I'm cheating my girls out of having captured moments with me. My sister, Kaosong, took these pictures.

1/2 Pound

I was able to lose the 1/2 pound so I'm down to 171. I exercised this morning for 40 minutes on the eliptical. I was sweating. I also had two carrot sticks with salmon dip for breakfast and about an 1/4 cup of brown rice with chicken and tomatoes. Just wanted to get the taste and not have a whole meal.

Kaosong - I did not get anything from WW for the 10 pounds because I lost 5 before starting and 5 after starting. Maybe when I get to 168. I feel like my reward is the 10 pounds. The roll...I went from rolls to roll...keeps getting smaller and and I can see my body leaning out. I feel great!

10 Pounds Overall

I've lost a total of 10 pounds over the course of these past few months. Right now, I'm still stuck right around 171 1/2 and 172. I'm trying not to get hung up on the numbers. I feel better then I have felt in a really long time. It just dawned on me yesterday that I am 3 days away from having a visit from Aunt Flo and for the first time since my early twenties, I didn't have any cravings. I generally crave salty, sour and spicy foods and gain a few pounds before she arrives. I do not feel bloated, have seen no weight gain and I've been much less moody. I don't know if this is happening to anyone else but I am going number 2 like 3 times a day. I know it's a good thing but boy does that distrub my day. Well...since I've been going so often the good news is that I don't hardly pass gas anymore and when I do, it has no odor.

I started shopping at Whole Foods. With my cholesterol being high and my risk being higher than most people with the same level because of my kidney disease, we are slowly fazing out all red meats (yes, even pork...the one we love). Though it was a little pricey, I picked up a variety of chicken sausages along with yummy stuff like salmon cucumber salad for dipping raw veggies into, which by the way, tastes great with carrots. We tried the chicken with sun dried tomatoes and basil the other night. A package of 4 one ounce sausages cost $5.99 but I was able to make an entire meal from it. If cooked like regular sausages, it would have probably just been enough for one adult male. I cut up the chicken sausage into little pieces, stir fried it with baby spinach and garlic and it made a great meal. Though that meal cost nearly $10, I figured it was still more cost affective then a family of four eating out, right?

I have to say, Kong has been extremely supportive of this change. He even let me cook eggs without the yolk the other night. I made an egg based dish with 7 eggs and just 3 yolks. It nearly killed him to wash the bright yellow yolks down the disposal. We also had a discussion around no longer buying red meats and summer sausage. He's been really great about all of the changes.

I've been especially proud of him for all of the new revelations he's been having. Now that the girls are bigger and modeling everything we do, Kong has been so much more aware of how we live, the decisions we make and how that affects the girls. He doesn't push back on suggested changes anymore. Sometimes I feel a little upset that it took him so long to get to this point but I know that it's better late than never. A funny thing happened last night. Around 11:30pm, Adyen came into our room after using the bathroom, climbed into our bed and zonked out. Kong and I let her lay there while we talked in the dark about the stuff that happened during the day. He said, "holy crap" and we hear this little voice say to us, "I say holy crap at school" then she giggled. Just another reminder that swearing can no longer be part of our language.

Any way, I've gone on and on today so just one last thing. I realized just this morning that I've been tracking my points wrong. I've probably been eating a few points more each day than what I was tracking due to my oversight in reading labels correctly. I'm on track now and on my way to breaking 170. Woo whoooooo!

Another Reminder That Change Needs to Happen

So I got the result of my cholesterol test back. My cholesterol level is at 230. Just a year ago, it was 201. I'm a little baffled as to why it's gone up so much. I feel like I'm eating healthier and exercising way more. I think things will make more sense after I've been tracking my eating on WW for a substantial amount of time. Sometimes perception is different then reality. Maybe I wasn't eating as healthy as I thought. I'm not taking any meds yet. We're going to try management of my cholesterol for six months with testing every three months. Hopefully the results will be better in December.

I worked out for 56 minutes today, ate a Cobb salad for lunch (eft most of the bacon and cheese). I also had a hand full of raspberry and plums for my afternoon snack.

On another note, I read a really interesting article in Time Magazine about siblings and how they may be the one most influential factor in how we navigate life as adults. After reading the article, I just felt so thankful for my siblings. Each of us are so uniquely different and I love each one so much. Each person has shaped me in how I deal with conflict, parent, love, treat my spouse but especially how I view life and my future. I'm so blessed to have each of you and I'm thankful that we all truly and genuinely love and enjoy each other; bad traits, differences and all. I love you guys : )

I did read another article about cloning that had horror movie written all over it. It turns out that clones are NOT exact replica of the original. Very interesting article. I couldn't put down the magazine so I stole it from my doctors office. Shhhhh!

OMG!!!!!!!

I can not believe how I ended my WW week. I entered the weekend with all of my 35 extra points. I thought the 35 points would allow me the flexibility of going a little crazy this weekend. It's amazing how fast 35 points get used up when you are eating out and traveling.

Friday, Uncle Mike and Aunt Mandy had Pho at their house to thank everyone for helping out with Shaneva's wedding. I could have eaten more and I passed on a lot of dessert. After Friday, I still had 22 points left for Saturday and Sunday. I started Saturday out very well eating a modest breakfast and even a 1.4 mile run/walk with Taylor in the morning. I didn't eat much for lunch so with that in mind, I hesitantly agreed to go out to a buffet for dinner while we were in Wausau with Kong's family. What a horrible idea. I went spent the 22 points plus went over another 27 and the sad thing is that I didn't feel like I had stuffed myself.

Then today, we went out for dim sum. Had I tracked what I ate yesterday, I would have made very different food decisions for lunch. I ended up this week going 33.5 points over. What is truly surprising to me is that my food intake this weekend is how I use to eat all of the time. How is it that I was not fatter? I feel horrible, heavy and crabby tonight.

My learning from all of this, 35 points does not buy you a lot. I still need to be cautious when I have left over points and I need to be especially careful when we do eat out. That means making better food selections and eating way less then I think I can eat.

I hope I have not derailed all of my efforts. I'm going to try to work out 5 days this coming week and get my eating back on track.

Still Going

I've been doing a really good job with food this week. I have not gone over my WW points. I was too tired to exercise Monday and Tuesday but I did go today. I made the mistake of eating papaya salad for lunch so needless to say, I was not in the best shape to push myself physically. I only worked out for 33 minutes.

Steph - I finally get what you were saying...about finally feeling like you are in control of your eating and food. I have never felt so in control. I keep thinking about all the time I wasted trying to lose weight on my own when I could have been getting help from WW. I lost 5 pounds in one week without feeling like I had to give anything up. Who knew....

I hope to break 170 this week. I know that is still a really high number but I've been over 170 for over a year and a half. I haven't been under 155 in over 10 years. So sad...I'm going to kick this thing. I will no longer let food control me!

New Routine

Yesterday was an interesting day. Our family had a very modest breakfast (whole wheat waffles with a few chocolate chips, cucumber and fruit with skim milk) then headed out to a picnic. Needless to say, we ate too much and it was all the bad (because it tasted so good) stuff. We finished eating around 1:15pm and headed off the Rondo Library for a few hours.

Around 3:45pm, Kong popped home made popcorn (a lot of it) and we all watched movies together. We had a discussion around how we wouldn't really need to eat dinner but that we would give the girls peaches with some wheat thins or a cereal bar with fruit as a snack around 6 or 7:00pm. Thinking that the girls were in good hands, I left for a work out at Bally's.

Upon my return around 7:45pm, I found the girls finishing up canned spaghetti and meat balls and I lost it. After our discussion about not over feeding the girls, and getting back into our normal routine of fresh, healthy, and organic foods, he did the complete opposite. In Kong's defense, he was feeling guilty because the girls said they were hungry so in his mind, that meant he needed to feed them food and not a snack. I went off on him about being responsible about knowing what is right and wrong and to not let guilt fuel his decisions. The girls will always tell him they are hungry but it's his decision to think about what they ate that day, how to balance that out and especially what time it is when he is feeding them. I couldn't understand how someone rational would choose to feed children a meal so late in the evening when they just had huge cups of soda to drink with their enormous amount of popcorn just a few hours earlier.

The reason why I was so angry was because Taylor has put on a few pounds since their three week stay at home before school. Work these past few weeks have been really hectic so I haven't been feeding them the way I would like to. We ate out at least once during each of the week they were home, sometimes twice. I think it was probably more of the lack of exercise that contributed to Taylor's slight gain in weight as I was not able to take them out during the work day. Considering that Kong was aware of this as we spoke of it just a few days earlier, I was livid that he made such a poor decision on food choice.

Anyway, the girls, Kong and I talked about being responsible about fueling our bodies properly and taking care of it so that it can be healthy so we decided that on the weekends, and maybe 2x during the week, we would do a walk/run of 1.2 miles to get our hearts pumping and our bodies moving. We did our first one this morning. We would walk a block, then run a block and so on until we had gone .6 miles and reached the Brugers Bagel on Grand. We had a nice breakfast at Brugers (choosing healthy options...at least for the girls and I), then we ran and walked home. Surprising enough, the girls did a great job. Even Ayden with her short little legs ran nearly as much as we did. My hope is that soon enough, we'll all be able to run the whole distance.

Anyway, that was my moment of weakness this weekend where the crazy came flying out of me. Must be that time of the month. On a positive note, I lost 4 pounds in 6 days on Weight Watchers and I had 16 left over points at the end of this week. I also cooked every meal this week and made some very healthy choices for the family. I feel very hopeful and am excited about what is to come not just for me but for the girls too.

Before I sign off, please pray for me for patience. I feel like I have not been controlling my anger very well and I have been extremely negative. I'm not proud of this but I have also been condescending. Not stuff you want to admit to people. Thanks for your prayers. I need all the help I can get.

Weeks of Updates Condensed

It seems it's been forever since I've put something substantial up. Just a quick update and review.

1. We spent a great deal of time visiting and spending time with the Her family this summer.
2. Shaneva, my cousin got married. This was significant for us because I ended up helping coordinate the bridal shower, some of the wedding details and acted as the wedding coordinator. Taylor was also the flower girl.
3. The girls started school. Ayden now attending 4yr old pre-school at Taylor's School. It is so nice not having to do two drop offs and pick ups.
4. I started Weight Watchers this week and lost 3 pounds already. Yeah!

Here are some pictures from the last part of our summer.

Ayden's last day at Mini Apple International Montessori. We brought pizza to school and had a pizza party for her last day. It was really fun. It was nice because Kong was able to stop by for lunch. Ayden loved it. We were said to leave Ms. Angel and Ms. Najat.









This is from our second trip to Kansas City to visit the Hers. We had a picnic in 100 degree weather so a dip in the lake was a welcomed treat. I did not take a dip but I was told that it was so hot the lake water felt like warm bath water.









Courtney and Max stayed with us for a week after our trip to KC. We had so much fun going to the Park at MOA, waterpark, International Market and so much more.









I had some material left after Shaneva's Bridal Shower so the girls and I made veils to wear with play dresses.


Just some fun pictures of playing in the rain. It was much needed rain.









Here is one picture from Shaneva's wedding. Once I get more pictures from Kaonou and Kaosong, I'll post those.







Here is a picture from Labor Day. We were hoping to feed the ducks but since there were none at Silver Lake, we ended up just playing at the park.














Here is a picture of Taylor's first day at school. She was nervous about starting school until she saw her friends.









Ayden started school two days later.

Weight Watchers

I did it! After swearing off anything that is diet related (pills, fad, meal plans, etc...) I decided to try Weight Watchers. I've been exercising for nearly 5 months now and have only lost a total of 7 pounds. Not impressive considering I have been very diligent about exercising. Plus, since I am not a big junk food eater and I think I do a pretty good job of balancing what I eat, I didn't think something like Weight Watchers would be all that beneficial.

I signed up for the free week trial today. What a surprise. I have cut down the amount of food I consume considerably but in loosely (because I still learning how to track Asian foods and foods that were prepared before I could take down the contents of the ingredients) tracking my points today...I was shocked! I was 20 points over my 23 point daily limit. This is considering I only ate 1/2 cup of qoa poon noodles. Just imagine how many points a real bowl would be?

Anyway, now that I have an idea of what I'm suppose to do, I think I'll have a better day tomorrow. I'm hoping this will be a good start to a healthy weight loss. Since I'm suppose to weigh no more than 130 pounds, I need to lose nearly 45 pounds. I will shoot for 140 pounds with the ultimate goal of 130. Wish me luck and a better tomorrow.

Ods and Ends

After dropping of Ayden at school today, I decided to drive by the 35W bridge to see it for myself. Ayden's school is literally three block from the bridge. It was surreal. Everything I saw on the news and in pictures came to life. From the school bus, to the bent ends of the bridge, to the cars still sitting on the pieces of the bridge that did not go into the river...it was such an odd feeling. I actually felt guilty as I didn't want to be a "gawker" but I couldn't help myself. I drove by quickly and only caught a brife glimpse but the image is seared into my memory. How tragic and sad.

On a lighter note, I wanted to share some more pictures of Ayden. Shoua did such a great job capturing Ayden's personality. I've worked with so many photographers/artists who want to capture a child the way they think the child should be seen instead of how the child really is. I was really impressed with Shoua. Some of the pictures are a little blurry and the color just a tinsy off but I love the photo's anyway. In my opinion, the goal I have in mind when having my children's pictures taken is to capture the child in that particular point in her life and Shoua absolutely did that - Ayden is silly, stinky and carefree. Here are a few more pictures. If you want to see all of them, go to: http://auohs.blogs.com/photos/ayden/index.html.

Lastly, I did not work out on Saturday but I did run 3.5 miles on Sunday and I plan on going to the gym over lunch today. Though I have not lost much weight, I can see a huge difference in my body size and shape. I have to constantly remind myself that it's not about the weight but about making healthy life changes.