Mother's Day

Mother's Day?   I loved seeing all of the Facebook posts today of how people celebrated Mother's Day.  There seemed to be lots of gifts, food, family, and love; lots of love.  However, there is always something about days like today, days set aside to celebrate a person, that makes me take pause.  It's not just Mother's Day, it's Father's Day, Sweetest Day, Valentine's Day, and yes, even birthdays.

I'm not judging people who go all out for these days.  I just wonder about people who don't have moms, people who don't have kids to make them moms, those whose mom's were absent or not a part of their lives, those who don't have the privilege of time to spend with their moms/moms who don't have the time to spend with their children (working multiple jobs, incarcerated, living a way so they can send money home, etc...), those who don't have the disposable income to do something special.  I also think about why these types of days don't illicit the same feelings in me as it does the masses.

Today, I woke up bright and early.  Not because I wanted to but because there were things to do.  My kiddos from another mother came up from La Crosse with their dad.  They boys went to move Logan out of his dorm at the U of M.  The girls went to pick Taylor up from the farm.  She had been staying there to help her grandparents with the chores (feeding animals, cleaning the barn, and planting the garden).  We headed off to the store to get food. We made a few stops and got home just as the guys were finishing up.  The girls helped me prep food and we ate.  We ate a lot.  The guys stopped off at Whole Foods to get me a cheese cake to celebrate Mother's Day.  It was a sweet surprise because I had forgotten it was Mother's Day.  We ate the cheese cake without fanfare.  We spent a few hours together, I packed all the food home with my La Cross family (they don't get to eat the ethnic foods available to us here in St. Paul), and we hugged and said our good byes.  Like that, they were gone and everyone else went back to homework, chores, naps and work.

These types of celebration were always really important to my own mom.  It was always a big deal for us kids to make the day special for her.  She worked so hard everyday being the best mom she could so having one special day to show her how much we cared about her really mattered to her.  I'm not sure why that's not the same for me.  I have always been a believer that you should appreciate the people you love everyday.  You should do kind things for them everyday.  You should tell them how much you appreciate and love them everyday.  You should cook, give them gifts, and clean for them everyday.

Now that I am older, I wonder if my thinking was correct.  Maybe I should have created the routine around celebrating.  Maybe I should have made these days a bigger deal.  When you don't practice receiving, you don't give people the opportunity to give.  What if I haven't instilled the right values in my children and spouse?  What if they don't do the things they are suppose to everyday and now I just gave them an out for not having to even do it on the one day designated for it?  I don't know.  I guess only time will tell...so Mother's Day?