Camp

Taylor's Hawaiian Luau 10th birthday sleep over party

Taylor spent her first long overnight away from Kong and I last week. Her school took her to a camp four hours north. She was gone for five days and four nights. As we packed and got things ready for her trip I didn't have any emotions about her leaving nor did I cry. In fact, I didn't think about it until I spoke with other moms who talked about how sad they were or how they wanted to cry. I wondered why I did not have the same emotions.

I am generally very emotional about my children, the idea of them growing up and about letting them go. Why wasn't I sad about my baby leaving for nearly a week? What kind of mother does not cry when her first born goes on her first, long, extended overnight?

All I know is that drop off was at 9:00am that Monday morning which was perfect because I had a 10:00am call. I anticipated a quick drop off but things didn't turn out as I had planned. I helped Taylor haul her things into the school atrium. Then I found myself waiting around until the children loaded into the bus. I was one of the handful of straggling parents who stayed around to help load their child's things into the coach bus. Next I found myself standing outside in the frigged temperature for 45 minutes until the buses pulled away. Before I knew it, it was 10:15 and I was late for my call. As the buses pulled awy I waived to my child even though I had no idea if she was even looking at me (the bus windows were tinted).

With no tears or sadness I got into my car and went on with my day. I am still reflecting and wondering what this experience and how I responded means. Not sure if I'll ever find the answer.

Princess Spaghettios

(Pooped out after a day of make over, luau and dancing)

Over the past few years I have slowly changed our family's eating habits. We have cut out red meats and do as much organic as possible. Aside from the cartoon "Arthur", there is not much partnering between organic brands and popular images like transformer, bratz, barbie, etc...What this means for the girls is that they miss out on the awesome power of branding on the most popular images and fads.

What's the significance of all of this? Well, Ayden's gymnastics has been collecting dried goods for a food drive. When I was at Cub Foods I picked up some canned spaghetti along with a few boxes of mac-n-cheese. The spahettios happened to be Disney Princess shapes. When I showed Ayden the items I had bought for her she asked me, "How come you buy Princess spahettios to donate to other children but you don't ever buy them for us?"

I went into an explanation of why. I know she understood but in her six year old mind it just didn't seem fair. You think as a parent your children will understand one day why you made the decisions you did for them. That or you hope they find a good therapist who will help them sort through how you denying them princes spaghettios at six is the underlying reason they need to validate their worth with brand name clothing and food. Ugh!

What is wrong with our society?

I was on a business trip this week and I was reminded of what an entitled society we live in. "Business trip?" you ask. Yes, I'm still working even though I quit my job. The only difference is I don't get paid anymore to work. Anyway, that's another post for another day.

When I landed at Midway in Chicago I took a cab to my hotel (which by the ways was beautiful Palace House Hilton, a historic hotel). When I told my cab driver that I would be using a credit card, he let out an audible sigh of discontent and reluctantly took me to the hotel. During the ride he was rude, almost got us into an accident because he gawking at another accident and he was talking loudly on his cell phone. When we reached the hotel I paid him using my Amex card (never leave home without it) and did not give him a tip. He boldly pointed out that I had not tipped him to which I replied, "No I did not." I'm not sure if he thought complaining would somehow change my mind about tipping but he made comments under his breath until he pulled a way.

The nerve of people. Is it just me or do people seem more entitled now? People expect extra money for performing the minimum requirement of their job. Am I the only person who thinks this is absurd? I am a generous tipper but I am not about to give the money that may family has worked hard for to someone who couldn't even pretent to appreciate my business for the 20 minutes he spent with me.

I'm sorry but if you work in a job that relies on tips then it is your responsibility to conduct yourself in a manner that is deserving of the tip. I was a waitress for many years and no matter how crappy the customer was, no matter how overworked (which I was because I worked for my father) or tired I was, I served my butt off for my tip. If you have an opinion on this I would love to hear about it.

Anyway, it's been a long time since I have blogged so here are a few recent pictures.

Working on the Schmidt Farm Butchering deer at the farmThe end of summer...monkeys playing

Are you here to fix the copier?

So with all the media coverage of the Gates/Crowley incident, I can't help but have my own feelings, emotions and judgements. I have read many people's comments on numerous articles about this incident and am so disheartened. There are claims of racial profiling as well as claims that racism is only alive and well because people of color won't let it die. For all those that don't feel race is an issue or that the only people who are racist are the people of color themselves, I'd like to share a story that happened just the other day.

About a week ago Kong came home and shared an incident with me. Kong had been working on a large, time sensitive and highly public transaction. He needed to consult with the Chief Investment Officer (CIO) on the information he was working on so he headed to the CIO's office. Upon nearing the office an Admin (who happened to be a white woman) stopped him and asked, "Are you here to fix the copier?"

So what's the big deal about this comment? Only that Kong was not there to fix the copier. What about him would have triggered her to assume he was? Could it be that she judged him and what he was qualified to do because of the color of his skin? An Asian guy on a floor with all of the executives? There's no way he's there because he has any real business with the executives. Of course not so he must be here to fix the copier.

Never mind the fact that Kong is only one level removed from the CIO. Never mind that the finance executives often speak and work with Kong. Never mind that Kong works with billions of dollars. Never mind that Kong teaches finance at the university level. No matter how much money he makes, no matter the status he achieves in life or the titles he earns, he will always be judged and viewed as only qualified to fix copiers.

If he were white would she have made the same assumption? Are people of color the ones keeping race alive? Do white people no longer see color? What do you think?

Summer Camp

Taylor and Ayden started nature camp today. When I signed them up for the program there was no information on where the camp was being held. I just assumed in St. Paul. It turns out that it's about 25 miles away and a school bus would pick them up everyday.

I'm sure to most people this is no big deal. For me, when I was told that I couldn't drive the girls, I had very mixed emotions. As I put them on the bus this morning and blew kisses to them I could not help but feel sad that they were leaving. I realized that this is the first time ever that I walked them to a school bus stop and watch them drive away. I have been driving both girls to day care and school for nine years so I never did the whole, putting them on the bus for the first day of kindergarten. Am I sad or what?

Anyway, here are some old pictures from when when they were small.
Taylor was day time potty trained at two. One day, when she was about two and a half, she said to me that she didn't want to wear a diaper at night anymore. Taylor was as a very mature child so I trusted that she was ready when she told me she was. This picture was taken the day after her first night without a diaper. She woke up dry. I love the expression on her face.
Taylor was about two in this picture. She was the best child ever. She never went through the terrible twos, she never threw tantrums and she was always pleasant and well behaved. She was an early talker so it just seemed like there was never a time in her life that she wasn't communicating with me.
Ayden is almost two in this picture. She was a really small child (still small now...don't let size fool you!). The outfit that she is wearing is size 6-12 months. She was a little fire ball. Lots of time outs already at this age. She had a "naughty step" that I use to set her on. I'd tell her two minutes and she would start out sitting but I would inevitably find her laying down or sitting on a different step just to defy me. We had many struggles until she learned that mommy is the boss. My will was just as strong and I was extremely persistent when disciplining my girls. Her cuteness got her no where with me.
Ayden is about 1 1/2 in this picture. I love it because she fell asleep eating. I can't remember what we were doing or why she fell asleep. I just remember she was trying so hard to eat but she kept nodding off. You think that you will never forget the details but you do : (
The girls helping me make cup cakes. To be fair both the girls had to be helping equally and simultaneously. That's what they agreed on. Ayden didn't like fire or loud noises when she was small. That's her scared face.
The benefits of helping out. Cleaning up!
This is from the days when Ayden wasn't evil to Taylor and Taylor still wanted to protect and help her little sister do everything. Ayden was 2 and Taylor was 6.

I love them so much!

End of the 2008/2009 School Year

Ayden graduated from Kindergarten this year (tears). I accidentally deleted some of the video footage from her graduation (more tears). It makes me so sad to see my baby get older. She'll be six in a few days (tears galore). Below are a few pictures from her graduation ceremony.

Waiting to for her turn to accept her graduation pin.

Miss Khou putting on her pin.

All giggles with Mika, one of her best friends.

Each year JJ Hill has a year end assembly for all of the students. Taylor was asked by her music teacher to sing in the final assembly song. She did such a great job. Taylor has been very into performing. She just loves to do anything in front of people. She just finished a summer course in theatre at Stepping Stone Theatre. More to come on that.

Lastly, tonight Kong let the girls watch the prefight stuff for UFC 100 which happens on July 11 (same day as Ayden's birthday party). He is usually very strict about bed time but when it comes to UFC staying up until 9:30pm is not an issue. No photos of this family time but Ayden did say to Kong that she is getting into UFC so if he wants to make her birthday a UFC theme, it's okay as long as she gets to stay up to watch the fights. Unfortunately Kong already told his friends and colleagues that he would not be ordering the fight so the UFC theme won't be happening.

Roan

We brought Roan back from WI/IL on Sunday and it reminded me to post the photos I took the last time we went to the Children's Musuem. Roan loves the girls so when we see him, we like to spend as much time as we can with him. On this particular day, it was one against three so I sort of let them do what they wanted. We all had a great time.

Now that he's back permanently we'll be able to spend more time with him.

Taylor's Recital

(Taylor and Kay Kay: Kay Kay also does ballet, modern dance, tap and jazz...whew!)

Taylor has been taking hip hop for the past 8 months. As one of my 2008 posts said, I was not sure how the girls were going to pull off a solid routine. To my surprise the girls did a great job. See below for a clip from the rehearsal that took place a few nights before the actual performance.

(Half of the 7-11 hip hop dance group)

It's hard to see but Taylor comes in from right stage and starts as the last person on the right but she eventually ends up second to the right most of the time. She's sporting two pony tails and has a nice little solo that starts with a nearly perfect cart wheel. I ran out of batteries so I miss the last part of the routine.

Nature

It's been on verge of raining these past few days. One evening, after the girls and I jumped on the trampoline, it started to lightly drizzle. We decided to lay down on the trampoline really still to hear the leaves rustling in the wind and the rain dropping around us. Were hoping for a big down pour but that never happened.

We must have laid quietly for 45 minutes. We could hear the birds chirping, filling the air with sweet Melodies. To watch the rain that did fall come down from the sky and hit our faces. It was an amazing and peaceful feeling.
On another note, little finches have been hanging out on my porch. They had built a nest in one of my hanging baskets. I took it out before eggs were laid in it. To my surprise, the very next day, I discovered that a new nest had been built in another basket. I was too late. There were already two eggs in the nest. As a mother I could not hurt another mother so I reluctantly left the nest.

I hope I don't regret my decision. Each day I come back to check on the nest there is another egg. Not sure if finches share nests but there are more than just one female and one male hanging around now. What to do, what to do!

So Much To Catch Up On!

(Making Mice Cream with Taylor and Ayden)

Only a month gone by and yet so much to catch up on. I just finished one class and am getting ready to start another on Monday. This MBA thing is killing me. I'm not sure how I would have continued this program if I was still working.

For those who don't know, my last day at American Express was March 31, 2009. After 10 years at Amex I decided it was the right time to end that chapter of my life and start a new one. I waited to blog about quiting because I wasn't sure if I was ready to tell the world that I gave up a career to spend more time with my children. It came as a shock to everyone, especially my boss. I had my best year ever at Amex in 2008. Amex has always treated me well and financially rewarded me. After getting an awesome year end review, I told my boss I was going to quit to focus on my MBA and my family. Some people were supportive but most wondered if I was crazy given record unemployment and the current state of the economy.

I think part of the reason I did not blog about it until now was also because for so long my identity was my career. I wasn't sure if people would still respect me if I was no longer pulling in a six figure income and working for a fortune 100 company. I dreaded having to answer the question, "So, what do you do?" I prided myself for being the person who had it all. A wonderful career, a supportive husband, and two amazing children. How could I now tell people that I couldn't have it all?

I had slowly come to realize that it's okay to not have it all. The truth is, all we can do is prioritize and do our best. So much was being compromised. I was rushing the girls around to all of our activities. I was hiring people to handle the lawn and clean the house but I was unhappy with their work and it didn't buy me any more time with my family. I was no longer chaperoning field trips or baking with the girls. My girls were growing up so fast and I was missing it all.

I'm not saying that you can't work and be a good mom. I'm just saying that my job was too demanding and I couldn't be the mother I wanted to be for my girls. My girls will only be little for a short time. I have the rest of my life to work.

"So, what do you do?" I am a full time MBA student and stay home mom : ) I have been a permanent fixture at the girls school since quiting, chaperone nearly all of Ayden's field trips, volunteer once a week in Ayden's class, cook more, play more and just plain laugh more with the girls. Just ask our neighbor Mike. He is the lucky one who gets to hear our nightly trampoline festivities.

Below are pictures I've taken since. Enjoy!

Okay, this might not look so appetizing but it was really good. The girls and I made mini whole wheat bagel pizzas using ground turkey, kale, organic pizza sauce and cheese. I'm serious, it was really good.
At the Children's Museum with cousin Roan. More pictures in a following post. I let Roan face paint himself. We had such a great time.
Now that it is warm out I let the girls eat their breakfast outside. I try to make them a healthy breakfast before sending them off to school. We also try to walk when we can to help the environment.
Taylor and some classmates put together a small skit for Peace Day celebration at school. Taylor was donation girl. See her utility belt with toys in it? I spent the day at school volunteering for both girls. What a way to spend Peace Day.
A play date for Ayden. FINALLY! Mika and Abby had a great time milling through Ayden's expansive dress up clothes collection. Kong made them popcorn (which he pops himself the old fashion way and seasons it with yumminess) and was named Best Daddy Popcorn Maker in the World.

Magic

Tonight was one of those evenings that just seemed magical. During dinner it was raining. It was one of those weird showers where part of the sky was cloudy and part was sunny. If you looked in one particular direction it looked as if it was raining on a sunny day.

Why am I telling you all this? Well, it was only the perfect condition for a rainbow to appear and sure enough, one did. The girls just loved, loved, loved the rainbow. I have to admit, no matter how old I get, every time I see a rainbow I feel just like a child all over again. I ohhhhed and ahhhhed as much as the girls did. There is just something so magical about rainbows.

Anyway, the girls and I talked all night about believing against all odds and never losing that feeling in your heart when it is touched by magic. To the girls, there are unicorns dancing at the end of the rainbow and fairies sliding down the arc. To me, I know that is impossible yet there is always that hope that if I should ever make it to the end of the rainbow, I will also find all things impossible.

Yes, Taylor is in the 4th grade and still believes in mystical creatures and the power of pixie dust. I can safely say that my girls do live quite the sheltered life but I wouldn't have it any other way. I hope they always dream of the unimaginable, that they never live within the boundaries of possibility, and that they never allow others to tear down their dreams.

To top off this perfect evening Taylor said, "Mommy, the closest things we humans have to magic is love." I couldn't help but feel touched by here ability to correlate the two. Love is magical.

The Lone Woman

I am the Vice Chair of the non-profit Support Our Schools (SOS). We are a community organization that works to improve public education in St .Paul by helping to build leadership capacity in education among educators, business and community leaders, parents and students themselves. We work to influence district policy so that each student has access to an excellent education that prepares them for success in adulthood.

So, I attend monthly board meetings and I bring my girls with me. The girls always do a great job keeping quite throughout the meeting. They keep themselves busy with books and drawing. I've brought the girls to enough meetings that the board knows and very much likes them. The girls talked with a few board members today and all seemed fine.

On the ride home, Taylor said to me, "Mom, I noticed that you were the only woman at that meeting." I didn't want to lead her to any conclusions so I responded, "Oh, yeah? So what do you think about that?" Taylor said that it's a bummer I'm the only woman board member. I asked her to clarify and the gist of what she said was that it just doesn't seem right that there is only one woman. She asked me a bunch of "why" questions. I wasn't really sure if she was ready to hear the truth about the inequities between men and women, society's perception of women leaders, etc...We did touch on this subject but I explained to her to the best of my ability why this is the case for SOS (which by the way or ED does try really hard to find diverse board members to accurately represent the community - they actually sought me out).

I was just surprised that Taylor made this observation and that without any prompting from me, the sight made her sad and elicited feelings of unfairness. She wasn't angry or upset. She was stating an obsevation she had made. I'm not sure if she really knew the full extent of how this made her feel. I think she just knew something didn't feel right but she didn't really know why. Hmmm????

Skiing

Kong enrolled the girls at Como ski school this year against their wish. The thought of skiing was, according to Ayden, frightful. These pictures and videos are from February and March. (Dlaab/Uncle Phili in the lift behind Ayden and Kong)

I was not real hopeful after our first ski trip. Our second one, much happier campers! Taylor improved tremendously and was doing black diamond runs with her dad. I was scared to death for her but she apparently loves the thrill of going fast.

As for Ayden, after our first trip to Afton, she vowed to never ski again. Her problem was that she didn't really want to learn how to control the skis (as evident in the clip below). She wanted to go straight down which only works on the bunny hill. On our second trip she figured it out and just loved it. There were a few blue runs that looked really scary to me but she was determined to go down them. She did awesome despite my fears.

Both girls decided that they do not need to go back to Como next year. They can't wait to go out West to ski the real hills/mountains. As for me, I decided that I'm not as young as I use to be. My knees were in pain after each trip. It's the standing in the boots and stilling on the lift that does a number on me. And Kong...well, he is loving it. On our ride home he said to me, "I've been waiting nine years to be able to do fun stuff that I love with the girls." I guess that says it all.

Before you watch the video clips, be fore warn that I am talking a lot! I'm trying my best not to let the girls know how terrified I am for them. The fear would cancel out the positive energy of encouragement to try new things. It's a tough balancing act : ) You can hear me saying to Taylor, "...stay in the middle...go side to side..." This is much better then screaming "Don't go too close to the sides because there are a lot of trees and horrific things can happen if you hit one." and "Don't go straight down or you'll pick up too much speed and crash!" Oh yeah, and I scream everytime they fall.

It is important to note that the clip of Taylor going down the run, it looks like we are going really slow but that surely was not the case. Because the runs are short and steep you pick up a lot of speed so the clips are very deceptive.

In Memory of Heath Van Handel

Oh my goodness! I can't believe how time flies. It's been four months since my last post. So much has happened.

Before I go back to posting regularly I want to pay tribute to an old friend of mine, Heath Van Handel. Heath was a pilot for the Wisconsin DNR. His plane went down two weeks ago. Heath and I went to elementary, middle school and high school together. We both attended UW-Madison but eventually lost touch. Just a few months back I located Heath and was going to reach out to him but just couldn't find the time. Now I'll never have the chance to do so.

Heath was a rare individual. He was an all American boy - smart, athletic and popular but Heath was different. He was kind and considerate to everyone. He didn't judge people and when he spoke with you, you felt like you were the only person in the world that mattered. My heart goes out to Heath's beautiful wife and his two small boys.

http://www.postcrescent.com/article/20090411/APC010301/904110513

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/photo.php?pid=30438918&o=all&op=1&view=all&subj=75920146594&aid=-1&id=1345200659&oid=75920146594

(1988: Top - Heath Van Handel, me, Mindy Schmidt, Erika Goerich, Kristin Piper, Jodi Under and Sargent Dittmar)

I know Heath doesn't look thrilled to be in this picture but that's not the case. When the photographer came in to take this photo, we were all told to look busy and not look into the camera. Apparently Heath and I were the only two that followed directions.

As a side note, I have been having a really hard time coming to terms with Heath's passing. Is this weird since I haven't talked to him in nearly 14 years? Maybe it's because I'm getting older and I know that death is closer than I would like it to be. Maybe it's because I am regretting the lost opportunity to reach out or maybe I'm just sad that this world has lost a really good person. Ugh...it makes me want to cry every time I think of his two boys.

Welcome 2009!

There is no better way to welcome a new year than with sledding. On January 1, 2009 we went sledding. Since baby Lola was too little to take out Aunt Pakou stayed home with her but Uncle Nate joined us for the afternoon fun at Como park. Good times.

Ayden's preferred method of going up the hill. Taylor and Uncle Nate after a run.Uncle Nate and Taylor going down a run.

The girls coming down the hill by themselves.

Aunt Pakou is a Wii expert. Pics of playing Wii on New Year's Eve. Santa brought Ayden and Taylor a Wii for their good behavior in 2008. Thank goodness for Santa because if it was up to their parents the girls would only get books ;-)

Summing up 2008

2008 came to an awesome conclusion for the Her family. God is amazing in how he works and the plans he has for each and everyone of us. It is incredible what we see and hear when we listen as he is always speaking to us.

Without having to go into great details, December was a very good month for us. We have been able to take steps in mending old relationships. We have a new perspective on how we view others. Last but not least we have new perspective on how we view ourselves. We will be starting the new year with fresh eyes: Less judgement, more optimism and greater open-mindedness.

To close out 2008 we spent time with both the Vang and Her families. Here are some pictures from the time we shared with our loved ones.

Ka-el at the Children's Museum. He loved the water play area.

Hanging out on the log in the "ant" room.

Gabe sitting on turtle Ayden.

Tais Nee, Taylor and Ayden baking a cake on Christmas Eve and putting the Betty Crocker cake decorating set to good use. We had Cub Foods make their famous whip cream frosting special for us. The cake was too beautiful to eat so Santa left it in tact and opted to eat the Vietnamese sandwich and candy instead.

Kong's 36th birthday. Pakou, Nate and Baby Lola came into town for this special occasion.