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| 11th Birthday. Get ready middle school! |
Today when Ayden and I were showering (Yes, my jr high
child still showers with me. It was
something I consciously decided with my girls.
I never wanted them to be ashamed of their bodies or be embarrassed about
nudity. A post for another day) she told
me that she heard kids using the F word.
She asked me what it meant.
I told her that it is a really bad word and that she shouldn’t use
it. When she is old enough, I’ll tell
her what the word means. This lead to us into a conversations about
other words she has been exposed to since graduating to middle school.
A: Mom, there’s this word,
I think it’s “slug” or something like that.
Why do people use that word as a swear word? Oh, and I also heard the word “wore”. Do you know what those words are?
K: Yes, those are
words that men call women who date and kiss (she doesn’t know people have sex
for recreation yet) a lot of boys.
Interesting because when men date and kiss a lot of girls, we don’t call
them similar mean names. We say things
like “He’s got game” or “Player” like it’s a game and he’s good at it. We are a society that demonizes women
for the same behavior we applaud men for. We call that sexism.
A: That’s not
right. You know, mom, there’s this other
word. It’s like the garden tool. I can’t recall what it is.
K: You mean “ho”.
A: Yeah, “hoe”. What does that word mean?
K: Well, “ho” is the
slang of “whore”. Ho, whore, and slut are
all words used to describe women negatively and they all have a similar meaning.
A: Don’t they call
men “man-slut”?
K: Yes but it is a
relatively new term and it really just loops back to how we view women. When we use that term, we are in essence saying
he is as bad as a woman who dates a lot of men.
We are still not holding that man accountable.
A: That is
interesting mom.
K: You know, women
also help uphold our sexist and patriarchal culture.
That’s why being conscious of this and standing up when we hear these
words being used is really important.
A: What would I say?
K: You can say, “Hey,
that’s not an appropriate term. Do you
understand how sexist that word is? Slut
shaming is not oaky. Especially not at
school.”
A: I’m never going to
remember that mom. Maybe I can just tell
them using that type of hurtful word in a school environment is not appropriate.
My initial thought was, how is it possible that my kiddo is so naïve and innocent? How is it that she is in middle school and this is the first time she has heard these words? Then I thought, I’m glad it has taken this long. She will have a lifetime of hearing the negative words people use to hurt each other. Ah yes, a conversation about race and Ferguson with Kiddo #1 and sexism with kiddo #2, the life of a mom ain’t easy.
