The Giving Tree

When I first read The Giving Tree, by Shel Silverstein, all I could think was how inconsiderate the kid in the story was.  How could he take advantage of the tree like that?   What was wrong with that tree?  I loathed this story for many years.  Then, I had kids.  My profound love for my children; how I would do my best to give them the world; how I would go to all ends to protect them and even die to defend them opened my eyes to a new way of seeing this story.

I read The Giving Tree again with my girls when they were younger and it made me weep.  Not from sadness but from overwhelming love.  I may be completely wrong about this but I feel Shel Silverstein wasn’t trying to tell us we should completely sacrifice ourselves for our kids.  I think that he meant for us to learn from the book.  Giving your children too much, not allowing your children to experience the consequences of their actions/decisions, and not setting boundaries for them is a detriment to not just them but also to us. 

Then again, maybe it is just a story about the unconditional love parents/guardians have for their children.  I don’t know.  What I do know is that this book did have a profound impact on my parenting style.  I fight the urge to give my kids everything and do everything for them.  I don't always come to their rescue or comfort them when they feel hurt.  I empower them by showing them they are capable of finding the solutions they need to make what they want (and ultimately their dreams) come true.  I will always love my girls and I know they will always love me but in the end, I will not be a lonely stump nor will they be selfish.  We will be whole, complete and mutually respectful beings who lived up to our full potential and became who/what we were intended to become.

Regardless of Shel Silverstein’s intention, I have grown as an individual because of this book and I am thankful for it.