(Fun Dance Video from the Birthday Sleep Over)
This past weekend we celebrated Taylor’s golden
birthday. My little girl is now a
teenager. I have to admit, as much as I
excitedly anticipated this important milestone, I was also extremely worried. Each year Taylor gets older I come closer and
closer to having to face my fear of how she will make it in the real
world. At times, she appears as
indecisive, a push over, weak, and someone who wears her emotions on her
sleeves. However, this weekend I found
new respect and overwhelming love for my child.
To start, my child decided that for her birthday she would
take her friends to Feed My Starving Children to do volunteer work. She invited 8 of her closest friends to share
in this experience. On the drive up to
FMSC, I was pleasantly surprised by these young women. Yes, like all teenage girls they talked nonstop
but it was what they were talking about that just amazed me. They talked about the Presidential and Vice
Presidential debates. They touched on
the marriage amendment and the voter id proposal. They discussed homosexuality, art, theater
and music. They shared their feelings on
these issues, what the media was saying, and what it means to be a conservative
or liberal.
Throughout the entire weekend I saw these amazing girls
interact with each other and everyone else around them with an enormous amount
of respect. They took turns; helped each
other; did not judge others with different values, thoughts or opinions; they
validated other people’s point of view; they worked together to accomplish
everything; they never criticized anyone nor did they ever once put anyone down
or talk about others in a negative way.
I saw a side of my child that I had never seen before. Taylor was funny, witty, decisive, caring, and
thoughtful and was able to take charge when needed. Furthermore, she collaborated, inspired, and
encouraged. I had to take pause. I realized my child is so much more equipped
to take on this world than I was. She
has been smart enough to surround herself with friends who hold similar values
as she does. She is true to herself and her strengths but
more importantly, she acknowledges where she needs development. She supports those around her but also knows
when to remove herself from the undue drama and negativity of others.
As I reflected on this weekend I had a few revelations.
- That I am way too hard on Taylor. I need to dial down the scolding and yelling because all it does is undermine her confidence to make decisions. She appears indecisive because she is trying to figure out what she is suppose to do to make us happy or what we will think is “right”.
- I need to tell her more often how much I appreciate her. She is thoughtful, kind, and loving. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t have her teenage moments but when these moments occur (which truly are far and few), I have to just leave them be.
- I have to stop punishing her emotionally when she makes mistakes. I can say the same things to her but in a tone that is loving.
1 comment:
You've done a great job raising her/and ayden. She has the tools. she's a good person, she knows right from wrong and most importantly, she has a strong core that won't waiver. I know it won't because of what you instilled in her. Now all she needs is the confidence, that's equally important. you're doing a great job because you're conscious about it and actively working on it, i love that. love you sister!
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