Are you here to fix the copier?

So with all the media coverage of the Gates/Crowley incident, I can't help but have my own feelings, emotions and judgements. I have read many people's comments on numerous articles about this incident and am so disheartened. There are claims of racial profiling as well as claims that racism is only alive and well because people of color won't let it die. For all those that don't feel race is an issue or that the only people who are racist are the people of color themselves, I'd like to share a story that happened just the other day.

About a week ago Kong came home and shared an incident with me. Kong had been working on a large, time sensitive and highly public transaction. He needed to consult with the Chief Investment Officer (CIO) on the information he was working on so he headed to the CIO's office. Upon nearing the office an Admin (who happened to be a white woman) stopped him and asked, "Are you here to fix the copier?"

So what's the big deal about this comment? Only that Kong was not there to fix the copier. What about him would have triggered her to assume he was? Could it be that she judged him and what he was qualified to do because of the color of his skin? An Asian guy on a floor with all of the executives? There's no way he's there because he has any real business with the executives. Of course not so he must be here to fix the copier.

Never mind the fact that Kong is only one level removed from the CIO. Never mind that the finance executives often speak and work with Kong. Never mind that Kong works with billions of dollars. Never mind that Kong teaches finance at the university level. No matter how much money he makes, no matter the status he achieves in life or the titles he earns, he will always be judged and viewed as only qualified to fix copiers.

If he were white would she have made the same assumption? Are people of color the ones keeping race alive? Do white people no longer see color? What do you think?

Summer Camp

Taylor and Ayden started nature camp today. When I signed them up for the program there was no information on where the camp was being held. I just assumed in St. Paul. It turns out that it's about 25 miles away and a school bus would pick them up everyday.

I'm sure to most people this is no big deal. For me, when I was told that I couldn't drive the girls, I had very mixed emotions. As I put them on the bus this morning and blew kisses to them I could not help but feel sad that they were leaving. I realized that this is the first time ever that I walked them to a school bus stop and watch them drive away. I have been driving both girls to day care and school for nine years so I never did the whole, putting them on the bus for the first day of kindergarten. Am I sad or what?

Anyway, here are some old pictures from when when they were small.
Taylor was day time potty trained at two. One day, when she was about two and a half, she said to me that she didn't want to wear a diaper at night anymore. Taylor was as a very mature child so I trusted that she was ready when she told me she was. This picture was taken the day after her first night without a diaper. She woke up dry. I love the expression on her face.
Taylor was about two in this picture. She was the best child ever. She never went through the terrible twos, she never threw tantrums and she was always pleasant and well behaved. She was an early talker so it just seemed like there was never a time in her life that she wasn't communicating with me.
Ayden is almost two in this picture. She was a really small child (still small now...don't let size fool you!). The outfit that she is wearing is size 6-12 months. She was a little fire ball. Lots of time outs already at this age. She had a "naughty step" that I use to set her on. I'd tell her two minutes and she would start out sitting but I would inevitably find her laying down or sitting on a different step just to defy me. We had many struggles until she learned that mommy is the boss. My will was just as strong and I was extremely persistent when disciplining my girls. Her cuteness got her no where with me.
Ayden is about 1 1/2 in this picture. I love it because she fell asleep eating. I can't remember what we were doing or why she fell asleep. I just remember she was trying so hard to eat but she kept nodding off. You think that you will never forget the details but you do : (
The girls helping me make cup cakes. To be fair both the girls had to be helping equally and simultaneously. That's what they agreed on. Ayden didn't like fire or loud noises when she was small. That's her scared face.
The benefits of helping out. Cleaning up!
This is from the days when Ayden wasn't evil to Taylor and Taylor still wanted to protect and help her little sister do everything. Ayden was 2 and Taylor was 6.

I love them so much!

End of the 2008/2009 School Year

Ayden graduated from Kindergarten this year (tears). I accidentally deleted some of the video footage from her graduation (more tears). It makes me so sad to see my baby get older. She'll be six in a few days (tears galore). Below are a few pictures from her graduation ceremony.

Waiting to for her turn to accept her graduation pin.

Miss Khou putting on her pin.

All giggles with Mika, one of her best friends.

Each year JJ Hill has a year end assembly for all of the students. Taylor was asked by her music teacher to sing in the final assembly song. She did such a great job. Taylor has been very into performing. She just loves to do anything in front of people. She just finished a summer course in theatre at Stepping Stone Theatre. More to come on that.

Lastly, tonight Kong let the girls watch the prefight stuff for UFC 100 which happens on July 11 (same day as Ayden's birthday party). He is usually very strict about bed time but when it comes to UFC staying up until 9:30pm is not an issue. No photos of this family time but Ayden did say to Kong that she is getting into UFC so if he wants to make her birthday a UFC theme, it's okay as long as she gets to stay up to watch the fights. Unfortunately Kong already told his friends and colleagues that he would not be ordering the fight so the UFC theme won't be happening.

Roan

We brought Roan back from WI/IL on Sunday and it reminded me to post the photos I took the last time we went to the Children's Musuem. Roan loves the girls so when we see him, we like to spend as much time as we can with him. On this particular day, it was one against three so I sort of let them do what they wanted. We all had a great time.

Now that he's back permanently we'll be able to spend more time with him.

Taylor's Recital

(Taylor and Kay Kay: Kay Kay also does ballet, modern dance, tap and jazz...whew!)

Taylor has been taking hip hop for the past 8 months. As one of my 2008 posts said, I was not sure how the girls were going to pull off a solid routine. To my surprise the girls did a great job. See below for a clip from the rehearsal that took place a few nights before the actual performance.

(Half of the 7-11 hip hop dance group)

It's hard to see but Taylor comes in from right stage and starts as the last person on the right but she eventually ends up second to the right most of the time. She's sporting two pony tails and has a nice little solo that starts with a nearly perfect cart wheel. I ran out of batteries so I miss the last part of the routine.

Nature

It's been on verge of raining these past few days. One evening, after the girls and I jumped on the trampoline, it started to lightly drizzle. We decided to lay down on the trampoline really still to hear the leaves rustling in the wind and the rain dropping around us. Were hoping for a big down pour but that never happened.

We must have laid quietly for 45 minutes. We could hear the birds chirping, filling the air with sweet Melodies. To watch the rain that did fall come down from the sky and hit our faces. It was an amazing and peaceful feeling.
On another note, little finches have been hanging out on my porch. They had built a nest in one of my hanging baskets. I took it out before eggs were laid in it. To my surprise, the very next day, I discovered that a new nest had been built in another basket. I was too late. There were already two eggs in the nest. As a mother I could not hurt another mother so I reluctantly left the nest.

I hope I don't regret my decision. Each day I come back to check on the nest there is another egg. Not sure if finches share nests but there are more than just one female and one male hanging around now. What to do, what to do!

So Much To Catch Up On!

(Making Mice Cream with Taylor and Ayden)

Only a month gone by and yet so much to catch up on. I just finished one class and am getting ready to start another on Monday. This MBA thing is killing me. I'm not sure how I would have continued this program if I was still working.

For those who don't know, my last day at American Express was March 31, 2009. After 10 years at Amex I decided it was the right time to end that chapter of my life and start a new one. I waited to blog about quiting because I wasn't sure if I was ready to tell the world that I gave up a career to spend more time with my children. It came as a shock to everyone, especially my boss. I had my best year ever at Amex in 2008. Amex has always treated me well and financially rewarded me. After getting an awesome year end review, I told my boss I was going to quit to focus on my MBA and my family. Some people were supportive but most wondered if I was crazy given record unemployment and the current state of the economy.

I think part of the reason I did not blog about it until now was also because for so long my identity was my career. I wasn't sure if people would still respect me if I was no longer pulling in a six figure income and working for a fortune 100 company. I dreaded having to answer the question, "So, what do you do?" I prided myself for being the person who had it all. A wonderful career, a supportive husband, and two amazing children. How could I now tell people that I couldn't have it all?

I had slowly come to realize that it's okay to not have it all. The truth is, all we can do is prioritize and do our best. So much was being compromised. I was rushing the girls around to all of our activities. I was hiring people to handle the lawn and clean the house but I was unhappy with their work and it didn't buy me any more time with my family. I was no longer chaperoning field trips or baking with the girls. My girls were growing up so fast and I was missing it all.

I'm not saying that you can't work and be a good mom. I'm just saying that my job was too demanding and I couldn't be the mother I wanted to be for my girls. My girls will only be little for a short time. I have the rest of my life to work.

"So, what do you do?" I am a full time MBA student and stay home mom : ) I have been a permanent fixture at the girls school since quiting, chaperone nearly all of Ayden's field trips, volunteer once a week in Ayden's class, cook more, play more and just plain laugh more with the girls. Just ask our neighbor Mike. He is the lucky one who gets to hear our nightly trampoline festivities.

Below are pictures I've taken since. Enjoy!

Okay, this might not look so appetizing but it was really good. The girls and I made mini whole wheat bagel pizzas using ground turkey, kale, organic pizza sauce and cheese. I'm serious, it was really good.
At the Children's Museum with cousin Roan. More pictures in a following post. I let Roan face paint himself. We had such a great time.
Now that it is warm out I let the girls eat their breakfast outside. I try to make them a healthy breakfast before sending them off to school. We also try to walk when we can to help the environment.
Taylor and some classmates put together a small skit for Peace Day celebration at school. Taylor was donation girl. See her utility belt with toys in it? I spent the day at school volunteering for both girls. What a way to spend Peace Day.
A play date for Ayden. FINALLY! Mika and Abby had a great time milling through Ayden's expansive dress up clothes collection. Kong made them popcorn (which he pops himself the old fashion way and seasons it with yumminess) and was named Best Daddy Popcorn Maker in the World.