Magical Age for Wisdom

If we could all believe in magic and see only the good in everything - Taylor and Ayden with Cinderella at Disney World '08

When everything seems to be humming along and life does not seem like it could not get any better that is the moment you have to watch out for. That moment is prime time for that thing, whatever that thing is, to rear its ugly head and bring all of that happy goodness to an abrupt end.

When I was young I thought that adults had it all together. I truly believed that there was some magical age when your adult wisdom would set in. You would have all the right answers, you would know exactly what to do at all times and there was no problem you could not solve.

Boy was my perception of adulthood misguided. The majority of adults are a mess, lost and sad. Adults are the source of their own problems but they lack the courage, optimism, hope and faith it takes to make their situations better. Since wisdom will not be imparted on us magically we need to take life by the horns, empower ourselves to find solutions and believe that we have the power to be the maker of our own destiny.

No matter how disappointing reality becomes it is critical that we remember the words of Romans 5:3-4, “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.”

Reflection

2011 was an amazing year! So amazing that I found little time to post regularly. I don't know if anyone reads my blog or if what I write matters to anyone else but me. What I do know is that writing brings me peace. It keeps me honest about my goals and who I really am. It holds me accountable for the things I say and do. So...I'll keep writing.

As 2011 came to a close I found myself wishing very different things than those around me. Through FB and other social media outlets I heard friends, family and acquaintances relieved the year was finally over, that 2012 was going to bring a new and fresh start. People were ready to leave 2011 behind.

For the first time in my life I found myself feeling sad the year was coming to a close. I was not looking forward to 2012. Maybe it was because that meant I was going to be a year older. Maybe I was afraid of what the new year would bring.

2011 had been a year filled with so many wonderful experiences, love and growth. The girls started the year closing out Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat with an amazing cast at the Ordway Theater. We traveled Europe and saw Munich, Bavaria, Hamburg, Prague, Budapest, Paris, Rome, and Salzburg. We skied the German and Austrian Alps. Ayden competed in her first season of gymnastics and finished strong. Taylor received all of her stripes laying the ground work for her black belt promotion. Kong got an amazing gig working overseas, and I finished my MBA.

I learned to appreciate what an amazing spouse Kong is. How tremendously gifted and talented my girls are (academically and physically) and learned that when you give freely and without worry, you truly do receive back ten fold. Most importantly, I learned the true meaning of trusting in God. My faith that he is always guiding me and caring for me was reinforced. Who could have asked for a better year. Who would want a year like this to end?

I need only remember that there is an abundance of love, opportunity and goodness in the universe and when you are ready to receive its abundance, you get so much more than you expect. If 2011 brought me this much richness, I trust in God that 2012 will bring even more.

May your 2012 be over following with everything your heart desires. Verbalize what you want to the universe and remember, "All things, whatever you shall ask in prayer, believing, you shall receive" Matthew 21:22.

Intergeneration Retreat

Roasting smores, telling stories and laughing at Hmong jokes. I had no idea there were so many hmong jokes.

Playing Banana grams. Every spare moment we had we played banana grams. So much fun!
Playing games before heading out to the lake for some canoe time.
Eating food and enjoying the company.
All the ladies: Choua, Kaohly, Taylor, Pang Bee, Ying, Michelle, Ayden, Linda, Kashia, Der and See.

Taylor, Adyen and I just returned from an intergeneration retreat for Hmong women. We spent the weekend with truly beautiful Hmong women. I learned so much about my young sisters and I am looking forward to continuing my relationships with them.

What inspired me the most was seeing my own young daughter explore her identity. Taylor lives a very “American” life as I suspect many young Hmong children do today. She has made comments to me in the past that she feels different being the only person of color in her class. We have had discussions about this topic but for fear of forcing my own thoughts, ideas and feelings on her, I have tried to guide her through these questions without imposing what I have discovered for myself in my own journey.

When my husband asked her what she learned this past weekend, she said, “I have a really good life. The generations of Hmong women who came before me had so many obstacles to overcome. My life is better because of their struggles.” I felt so proud. She did not say much this weekend. I suspect because she was unable to relate to the experiences of the generations who came before her. I do know that she listened very intently.

Taylor is only starting on her journey of self discovery of what it means to be a female in a patriarchal society, to be Hmong, to be American, and to be everything in between. I am looking forward to her journey and keeping my fingers crossed that her journey does not take as long or is as difficult as my own.

Thank you to all the retreat participants and for sharing your stories. You have made a great difference in my life and my girls.

P.S. Linda and See, Ayden misses you terribly. She can’t wait to see you again!

Project Fair

Each spring the 4th, 5th and 6th graders at Taylor's school do a major research project and present their projects at a fair. Taylor's teacher provides them with a theme then it's up to each student to come up with an idea, complete the research, write the paper and present it. This year each of the 6th graders had to conduct an experiment. Taylor chose the topic cola wars and if one is better than the other.
I was so impressed by the work she put into her project. She not only did research on both Coke and Pepsi but she also conducted a blind taste test. Her project was a great success. During the project fair she continued her taste test study. Taylor drew a large crowd of people eager to try her experiment. She had people lined up in front of her station until we had to leave. Great job Taylor!
By the way, it was interesting to see how sure people were that Coke was better and that they knew their choice was coke. FYI, Pepsi won the taste test. In her initial trial Pepsi won by a slight margin. Once she added the second trial, Pepsi won in a land slide.

Brownies at Camp Lakamaga

It is being able to chaperone day trips like this that reinforces my decision to quit my job and be a stay home mom. I had such a wonderful time with Ayden and her troop at Camp Lakamaga. We went hiking, made smores, did arts and crafts, played games and particpated in awsome physical activities that tested our strength. What a wonderful way to spend my day.

Great Learning Experience

It took everything in me to not burst out of the stand, run down, and give my child a big hug to console her. Dropping the staff disqualified Taylor from the event. After the tournament one of the judges from Taylor's ring told me that Taylor's staff spinning was beautiful. Had she not dropped the staff she would have taken 1st place.

The Kuk Sool Won Midwest tournament was a great learning experience.

1. Failure builds character.
2. Character building feels really cruddy while it is happening.
3. The definition of "best" is very subjective.
4. Losing gracefully is really, really hard for everyone.
5. It is easy to have good etiquette when you win. It's a much harder exercise when you lose but is something that we must always work at.

Things I had to muster up and say to my child even though all I wanted to do was affirm everything she was feeling about how subjective judging is. I had to take my mom hat off and put my instructor hat on. I know how hard judging is. All of the judges try their best to be as fair as possible. That is all any of us can ask of them. Sometimes judging falls in our favor and sometimes it doesn't. That's competition.

Taylor and I both learned a great deal about ourselves after this tournament. All experiences, regardless of outcome, are good learning experiences. We can't wait take our learnings, apply it to our training the next six months, and compete again in Houston.

BTW, I came home with two golds (forms and technique) and two silvers (staff spinning and sparring). Taylor took home a medal for her 4th place finish in techniques.

Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes

Yesterday as Ayden ate her after school snack we chatted about the day. She mentioned to me that her teacher had read Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes. I remembered this book from my childhood and how sad the book made me feel so I was very interested to hear her thoughts.

Ayden seemed to be intrigued by Sadako's story. The story led us into a discussion about the death and destruction of war, the atom bomb, radiation and the Fukushima Nuclear Plant. In the middle of our conversation I started crying. It was Ayden's comment about Sadako's belief that if she made 1,000 paper cranes she could make a wish to no longer be ill. Even though I knew this from having read the book myself, there was something about how Ayden said those words that overwhelmed me. Her voice was so sweet and so innocent.

I could not stop thinking about the pain that Sadako's mother must have felt (Not to diminish the physical and emotioanl pain that Sadako endured). The anguish of losing a child. The senseless death that comes with war. My heart broke for every mother who had ever lost a child for any reason. The countless wishes made by mothers who came before Sadao's mother and all those after. I stood silently and cried. Unable to understand my emotions my child put her arms around me and gave me a big, long hug then said to me, "Everything will be okay Mommy."