The Hers: A Wonderful Surprise


The Girls: Jacklyn, Poungcha, Taylor, Lauryn, Ayden and Julia

Sometimes, when I think about how much I love children, I am overwhelmed with sadness. Late at night, when the house is quiet, my heart fills with an indescribable feeling of longing for a household of kids. I know that I have two biological children and that some people have none. And it's not that I do not see how blessed I am, I really do. Yet, that doesn't lessen the sorrow that I feel. However, today, I had an 'a ha' moment. Not the kind of moment where your consciousness finally aligns with what you have been told about something powerful. This 'a ha' moment filled my soul in a way I have never felt before.

This past week, Kong and I accumulated a troop of teenage and preteen girls. We had been staying up too late, eating too much, and playing way too hard. After a long day of running other family members to doctors appointments, taking kids to activities, and fulfilling community obligations, we finally came home to the most beautiful and heartwarming surprise. A birthday party our girls threw for Kong.

The girls started their day with a trip to the Mall of America (MOA). After being kicked out of the mall for not being chaperoned by an adult (Jackie is 18 but apparently that was not sufficient for mall security), the girls decided to take the lightrail train home instead of calling to bother us for a ride (even though neither of us would have been able to accommodate). Once home, they hatched a plan for a surprise birthday party for their dad/uncle. By themselves, they got to the store, bought a cake, ice cream, a card, sparklers, and decorations for the house and then took public transportation home. They then decorated the house and waited patiently for us to come home from our last event, of which we were late. When their dad/uncle walked into the house, they jumped up from behind the center island, turned on the lights, and yelled surprise, Happy Birthday!

Indeed he was surprised. The girls had paid for everything out of their own pockets, they carried a cake on the bus and they did all of this without anyone asking them to. What touched me most was the beautiful cake and card which read, "From your 6 kids". The cake also had an image representing us and each one of them. My heart nearly burst.

Today, I learned two important lessons. One, I need to worry less. I eventually came to understand that my big girl paid for much of the transportation for her cousins and most of the party expenses by herself. I often question if I have taught my kids the "right" things and whether I have modeled generosity, compassion, thoughtfulness, or understanding for my kids especially because I too am still working on these traits and sometimes model the opposite. As I have stumbled through motherhood, I might have done better than I give myself credit for.

Two, I realize that while I may have only birthed two kids, I have so many more children than that. I am a mother to all of these amazing young cousins, nieces, and nephews. Hearing the girls retell their adventures of the day (which included their struggle with the lightrail ticket machine, the confectionery lady's look when they asked to have 6 kids drawn on the cake, the crusty check out lady at Target, and the strange looks from passengers on the train and bus coming home) and listening to each person's story as we reminisced about the past (Julia and Lauryn's separation anxiety when they were babies, Poungcha and Kongmongs extreme dislike of each other when they were young and how this has transformed into them being really "tight" in the words of Poungcha; how Jackie, because of proximity, was my first baby which I often stole from her parents to babysit), my heart was filled with contentment.

I am continually reminded of how God works and how his plan is often different than the plans I have for myself. I am truly blessed and lucky beyond belief to have these beautiful souls in my life. Thank you girls.