Lost Ritual Found

 When did my chubby baby turn into this beautiful big girl?

Tonight, when Taylor went to bed, I laid with her.  Something I did with her almost every single night until about two years ago when she was in the sixth grade.  I remember reading once how magical this time is.  How this is the time they tell you everything.  And when this was part of our routine, it was magical.

Tonight, as we laid together in her bed, she poured out her heart.  We talked about her disappointment in herself, her struggles, the stress she feels but most importantly, that she is not living up to her father and my expectation.

Her tears broke my heart.  I had no idea how much hurt she was feeling inside.  In the process of trying to make her strong and confident, I forgot to tell her that it is okay to feel weak and vulnerable.  Not knowing all the answers, and not doing all the right things is normal for someone her age.  I think I forgot that making mistakes and learning from those mistakes is part of growing up.

I will remember to manage my expectations, allow her to make mistakes and learn from them, and reminder her often how much I love her.  I will also lay with my girls as often as I can.  I will never get this time back.  I will treasure these moments.  Never again will I let the magic of the calm night and the opportunity to listen pass me by.