The Lone Woman

I am the Vice Chair of the non-profit Support Our Schools (SOS). We are a community organization that works to improve public education in St .Paul by helping to build leadership capacity in education among educators, business and community leaders, parents and students themselves. We work to influence district policy so that each student has access to an excellent education that prepares them for success in adulthood.

So, I attend monthly board meetings and I bring my girls with me. The girls always do a great job keeping quite throughout the meeting. They keep themselves busy with books and drawing. I've brought the girls to enough meetings that the board knows and very much likes them. The girls talked with a few board members today and all seemed fine.

On the ride home, Taylor said to me, "Mom, I noticed that you were the only woman at that meeting." I didn't want to lead her to any conclusions so I responded, "Oh, yeah? So what do you think about that?" Taylor said that it's a bummer I'm the only woman board member. I asked her to clarify and the gist of what she said was that it just doesn't seem right that there is only one woman. She asked me a bunch of "why" questions. I wasn't really sure if she was ready to hear the truth about the inequities between men and women, society's perception of women leaders, etc...We did touch on this subject but I explained to her to the best of my ability why this is the case for SOS (which by the way or ED does try really hard to find diverse board members to accurately represent the community - they actually sought me out).

I was just surprised that Taylor made this observation and that without any prompting from me, the sight made her sad and elicited feelings of unfairness. She wasn't angry or upset. She was stating an obsevation she had made. I'm not sure if she really knew the full extent of how this made her feel. I think she just knew something didn't feel right but she didn't really know why. Hmmm????

Skiing

Kong enrolled the girls at Como ski school this year against their wish. The thought of skiing was, according to Ayden, frightful. These pictures and videos are from February and March. (Dlaab/Uncle Phili in the lift behind Ayden and Kong)

I was not real hopeful after our first ski trip. Our second one, much happier campers! Taylor improved tremendously and was doing black diamond runs with her dad. I was scared to death for her but she apparently loves the thrill of going fast.

As for Ayden, after our first trip to Afton, she vowed to never ski again. Her problem was that she didn't really want to learn how to control the skis (as evident in the clip below). She wanted to go straight down which only works on the bunny hill. On our second trip she figured it out and just loved it. There were a few blue runs that looked really scary to me but she was determined to go down them. She did awesome despite my fears.

Both girls decided that they do not need to go back to Como next year. They can't wait to go out West to ski the real hills/mountains. As for me, I decided that I'm not as young as I use to be. My knees were in pain after each trip. It's the standing in the boots and stilling on the lift that does a number on me. And Kong...well, he is loving it. On our ride home he said to me, "I've been waiting nine years to be able to do fun stuff that I love with the girls." I guess that says it all.

Before you watch the video clips, be fore warn that I am talking a lot! I'm trying my best not to let the girls know how terrified I am for them. The fear would cancel out the positive energy of encouragement to try new things. It's a tough balancing act : ) You can hear me saying to Taylor, "...stay in the middle...go side to side..." This is much better then screaming "Don't go too close to the sides because there are a lot of trees and horrific things can happen if you hit one." and "Don't go straight down or you'll pick up too much speed and crash!" Oh yeah, and I scream everytime they fall.

It is important to note that the clip of Taylor going down the run, it looks like we are going really slow but that surely was not the case. Because the runs are short and steep you pick up a lot of speed so the clips are very deceptive.

In Memory of Heath Van Handel

Oh my goodness! I can't believe how time flies. It's been four months since my last post. So much has happened.

Before I go back to posting regularly I want to pay tribute to an old friend of mine, Heath Van Handel. Heath was a pilot for the Wisconsin DNR. His plane went down two weeks ago. Heath and I went to elementary, middle school and high school together. We both attended UW-Madison but eventually lost touch. Just a few months back I located Heath and was going to reach out to him but just couldn't find the time. Now I'll never have the chance to do so.

Heath was a rare individual. He was an all American boy - smart, athletic and popular but Heath was different. He was kind and considerate to everyone. He didn't judge people and when he spoke with you, you felt like you were the only person in the world that mattered. My heart goes out to Heath's beautiful wife and his two small boys.

http://www.postcrescent.com/article/20090411/APC010301/904110513

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/photo.php?pid=30438918&o=all&op=1&view=all&subj=75920146594&aid=-1&id=1345200659&oid=75920146594

(1988: Top - Heath Van Handel, me, Mindy Schmidt, Erika Goerich, Kristin Piper, Jodi Under and Sargent Dittmar)

I know Heath doesn't look thrilled to be in this picture but that's not the case. When the photographer came in to take this photo, we were all told to look busy and not look into the camera. Apparently Heath and I were the only two that followed directions.

As a side note, I have been having a really hard time coming to terms with Heath's passing. Is this weird since I haven't talked to him in nearly 14 years? Maybe it's because I'm getting older and I know that death is closer than I would like it to be. Maybe it's because I am regretting the lost opportunity to reach out or maybe I'm just sad that this world has lost a really good person. Ugh...it makes me want to cry every time I think of his two boys.

Welcome 2009!

There is no better way to welcome a new year than with sledding. On January 1, 2009 we went sledding. Since baby Lola was too little to take out Aunt Pakou stayed home with her but Uncle Nate joined us for the afternoon fun at Como park. Good times.

Ayden's preferred method of going up the hill. Taylor and Uncle Nate after a run.Uncle Nate and Taylor going down a run.

The girls coming down the hill by themselves.

Aunt Pakou is a Wii expert. Pics of playing Wii on New Year's Eve. Santa brought Ayden and Taylor a Wii for their good behavior in 2008. Thank goodness for Santa because if it was up to their parents the girls would only get books ;-)

Summing up 2008

2008 came to an awesome conclusion for the Her family. God is amazing in how he works and the plans he has for each and everyone of us. It is incredible what we see and hear when we listen as he is always speaking to us.

Without having to go into great details, December was a very good month for us. We have been able to take steps in mending old relationships. We have a new perspective on how we view others. Last but not least we have new perspective on how we view ourselves. We will be starting the new year with fresh eyes: Less judgement, more optimism and greater open-mindedness.

To close out 2008 we spent time with both the Vang and Her families. Here are some pictures from the time we shared with our loved ones.

Ka-el at the Children's Museum. He loved the water play area.

Hanging out on the log in the "ant" room.

Gabe sitting on turtle Ayden.

Tais Nee, Taylor and Ayden baking a cake on Christmas Eve and putting the Betty Crocker cake decorating set to good use. We had Cub Foods make their famous whip cream frosting special for us. The cake was too beautiful to eat so Santa left it in tact and opted to eat the Vietnamese sandwich and candy instead.

Kong's 36th birthday. Pakou, Nate and Baby Lola came into town for this special occasion.

Ayden's Love

Our family went shopping the other day and Ayden did the cutest thing. We were at Marshalls trying on shoes for Taylor. Ayden had wondered off and found this pair of shiny red dress shoes. I heard Ayden say, "Mommy, I found shoes my size. It's a 7." She proceeded to put on the shoes and admire them in the full length mirror. I heard a number of customers comment to her how nice the shoe looked (to which I did hear her respond with thank yous). The look on her face and how she was modeling was priceless.

When Taylor and I finished, I asked Ayden to put the shoes away. She asked if I could buy the shoes for her. Since she did not need another pair of shoes (especially red ruby shoes), I told her we would not be buying them. She reluctantly took the shoes off, gently set them back on the self and stood by them to admire them one last time. As we left the shoe department I turned over to see Ayden leaning into the shoe (she was close enough to kiss them) and I heard her whisper in the sweetest voice, "I love you". I just about busted out laughing.

I don't think I've ever heard her say those three words to anyone and mean them as genuinely as she did when she spoke them to the shoes. It was cute and disturbing at the same time. We ended up going back to Marshalls a week later to return something and Ayden made a b-line right back to her beloved shoes. I did end up buying them for her. After all, it was on sale for only $10.00. I hope I'm not enabling a bad behavior.

To think that my child is 5 and she knows to love material things. For anyone who knows Ayden, she especially loves dresses (long and big), shoes (the shinier the better) and jewelry (the sparklier the better). I know we didn't teach this to her. I guess some people are just born knowing they want the finer things in life.

It's Been A While

It's been tough making time to update. With my MBA in full swing it's hard to find even just one spare moment. With each semester class condensed into 4 & 5 week sessions, each week is filled with numerous chapters of reading, papers and quizes. I've been staying up till 1:30am almost every night and getting up early to study on the weekends even though I'm going to bed so late. I've been walking around with a headache caused by sleep deprivation. Anyway, so much as happened in the last month. Here are some fun pictures. I'm trying not to let school get in the way of my time with the girls.

12/12/08 - Taylor had her first concert. She loves playing the flute. She can spend hours playing Hot Cross Bun. She did an awesome job. Visit Taylor's blog to hear more about it and to see pictures (see link to the right or type in taylorsuabyi.blogspot.com). Ayden's been very silly lately. This is what she resorted to when she became bored with Taylor's concert. The video is 2 mintues long. The first minute is just the band. Right around the 1 mintue mark is when Ayden appears. You can move the video clip to the 1 minute mark to skip the band.


12/11/08 - I gave my first public speach to a group of 40 women on the topic of Hmong women in the corporate sector. Though the women were there to hear me speak, their feedback, enthusiasm and kind words moved me. I felt so blessed to be among such amazing Hmong women. I had a number of people come up to me after my presentation to comment on how I inspired them. Amazing how when you speak the truth and from your heart how that changes other people. In addition I've been asked by two different research projects to be interviewed. I feel like I'm just not worthy of such wonderful attention and respect.

12/6/08 - We put up our Christmas decorations. It was a wonderful time. Now that the girls are bigger, I love their excitement. We played Christmas music and the girls baked brownies all by themselves. This was hard for me to do as I'm quite the control freak. What a way to spend a crisp winter Saturday. Here is a picture of the girls helping out and a clip of Ayden being silly. They are trying to get snowflakes up on the dinning room windows.

12/5/08 - JJ Hill Hmong New Year. I was the Committee Chair of the JJ Hill Hmong New Year event and Kong was the MC. The event was very successful. I tried a new approach this year. Instead of just inlisting the help of teachers, I tried to incorporate the Hmong families at JJ Hill in the planning phase. Needless to say, the more people you involve, the more stressful the event becomes. Either that or the more people you involve, the more control you lose hence teh stress. All in all the event was great fun. We are truly bless to be a part of such a wonderful and supportive school community. We even made $1,000 which will go towards funding next year's event. Here is a picture of Kong and the girls. It was a family effort this year. Kong was part of the planning throughout the entire process. I could not possibly do it without his support. Taylor and her classmates learned how to Hmong jump rope and helped demonstrate that activity. Ayden dressed up but was too shy to participate in the fashion show : ( 12/4/08 - Pictures from Thursday night activites. Taylor at dance and Ayden at gymnastics. Judging from Taylor's dance clip, I'm not sure how these girls will be able to put a routine together for the final show in the spring. I had a good laugh watching. I guess it's not how good you are at what you are attempting but how much you enjoy it. Is that are real saying? I think I might have made it up to justify the money I put into it : )

11/22/08: We went hunting at the Schmidt farm in Bonduel, WI. We had a great time. The girls went pigeon hunting with Kong in the barn, they got to drive the green machine (pictured below) and drive for deer in the woods. They even got to shoot the pellet gun at soda cans. Uncle Phil was wonderful with the girls and even took them with him to register deer. Afterwards he took them to the Ponderosa (Grandma Schmidt's main farm) to pet the cows. The best part...buying candy at the gas station. Go figure! The girls had a great time and want to do it again next year. And the answer is yes...everyone has to wear blaze orange. That is, everyone who does not want to be mistaken for deer!10/30/08: It was really warm this past Halloween. Here is a picture of the girls after we carved pumpkins and a picture of them in their Halloween costumes. Ayden was Wonder Woman and Taylor was a goth fairy.